2005 Archives - Joe Toplyn

Joke About Trump’s Taxes

Posted on March 21, 2017 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: Report: Trump’s 2005 Taxes Revealed

Punch Line: I can’t believe he claimed every illegal immigrant as a dependent.

Writer: Ben E. Bram

Joe Toplyn 22 hours ago

Today in New York City, Coney Island’s amusement parks reopened. There are six new attractions this year, including a scary ride for New Yorkers--the Tunnel of Cuomo.

Joe Toplyn 2 days ago

A US Army captain set a world record by running a mile in 10 minutes, 23 seconds, in a bomb disposal suit. Also running really fast was everybody who noticed somebody running away in a bomb disposal suit.

Joe Toplyn 3 days ago

Today the CDC said that the UK variant has become the most dominant Covid strain in the US. They said they're surprised the UK variant has spread so fast because every afternoon it stops for tea.

Joe Toplyn 4 days ago

North Korea announced that it won't participate in the Tokyo Olympics. Which is a shame because North Korean gymnasts were favored to win the gold in rhythmic defecting.

Joe Toplyn 5 days ago

Today Russian President Vladimir Putin signed a law allowing him to run for president two more times. The law also extended absentee voting: whoever votes against Putin goes mysteriously absent.

Joe Toplyn 5 days ago

This joke about Marshmallow Peeps...how was it written? Learn how in my two-minute Joke Writing Workshop: bit.ly/3sU0TMX

Joe Toplyn 1 week ago

Tomorrow is Easter, so here comes Peter Cottontail, hoppin' down the bunny trail. But don't worry. Next year, thanks to President Biden's infrastructure bill, it'll be the bunny expressway.