The joke: Clorox is recalling some of its Pine Sol disinfectant cleaning products because they may contain infection-causing bacteria. Listen, if your disinfectant can cause an infection, you don’t need a recall, you need a dictionary. How I wrote it: My immediate reaction when I first read this news item was to ask myself questions like, “Isn’t Pine Sol a disinfectant? So how
The joke: Doctors in Italy successfully performed brain surgery while the patient remained awake and played the saxophone. The doctors removed a tumor that was causing a debilitating condition known as “malignant Kenny G.” How I wrote it: This news item caught my attention because it was so weird. Plus the handles “brain surgery” and “saxophone” seemed to have enough associations to link
The joke: NASA’s James Webb Space Telescope captured its first direct images of a planet beyond our solar system. The planet appears to have 12 times the mass of Jupiter, but you know the expression, the space camera adds 10 masses of Jupiter. How I wrote it: This news item got my attention because the topic handles “space” and “captured images” seemed to
The joke: Senator Mitch McConnell called President Biden’s decision to cancel some student debt “a slap in the face to working Americans.” McConnell said the decision is so bad it’s like working Americans told a joke about Will Smith’s wife. How I wrote it: I decided to write a joke about the student debt cancellation because it was big news. Plus a lot
The joke: The Casper mattress company is looking to hire people with “exceptional sleeping ability” to demonstrate its mattresses. “Exceptional sleeping ability”…so basically they’re looking for people who don’t watch the news. How I wrote it: This news item caught my eye because the topic handle “exceptional sleeping ability” seemed to have lots of associations I could use to create a punch line.
The joke: Because of salmonella outbreaks, the CDC is warning people not to “kiss or snuggle” backyard poultry like ducks and chickens. Apparently prices are getting so high that some people were doing anything to get free eggs. How I wrote it: This news item was so weird that it caught my attention. And if a news item catches your attention, it might
The joke: It’s the Fourth of July weekend. So if you love to see lots of fireworks and explosions, just go to the airport and watch people when they hear their flights are canceled. How I wrote it: I wanted to write a joke about this topic because it was in the news and has many potentially useful associations. Because the topic has
The joke: Cosmetics maker Revlon has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy in the U.S. Actually, instead of just going with Chapter 11, it used its own Volumazing Mascara and filed for Chapter 11111111111. How I wrote it: I focused on this news item because the topic handle “Chapter 11” has let me write some good jokes in the past. Plus the other topic
The joke: This week the “Star Wars” series “Obi-Wan Kenobi” premieres on Disney Plus. But before you get too excited, there’s also a series with Jar Jar Binks coming to Disney Minus. How I wrote it: I decided to write a joke about this news item because the topic seemed pretty fertile: the topic handles– Obi-Wan Kenobi and Disney Plus–have many associations I
The joke: Officials are tightening the rules on concession prices at New York City-area airports after they found one bar at LaGuardia charging $27 for a beer. It was a Boston lager: Scam Adams. How I wrote it: I thought I could turn this news item into a joke because the idea of high-priced beer seemed to have a lot of promising associations.