abstinence Archives - Joe Toplyn

Joke About Abstinence-Only Education

Posted on March 14, 2018 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: Amid stories of Trump’s alleged past sexual activity, admin focuses on abstinence-only education

Punch Line: This abstinence presentation contains graphic photos of Trump having sex and is proven 100% effective.

Writer: Catt Crawford

Joe Toplyn 1 day ago

Tomorrow, May 22, is Sherlock Holmes Day. Nobody knows who first started celebrating Sherlock Holmes Day, but he's a left-handed, bald, bagpipe player who walks with a limp.

Joe Toplyn 2 days ago

Health officials are investigating a possible monkeypox infection in New York City. So if you see somebody in New York City throwing his feces at people like a monkey, he may have monkeypox.

Joe Toplyn 3 days ago

Today at a London theater, Tom Cruise joined Prince William and Kate for the U.K. premiere of the new "Top Gun" movie. They all made royal entrances. Prince William escorted Kate down the red carpet and Tom Cruise rode in on one of the Queen's Corgis.

Joe Toplyn 4 days ago

A bullet hole in a picture of Johnny Cash on a water tower in Arkansas makes it look like the country music singer is urinating. It's pretty embarrassing. Officials say the water tower is leaking faster than a draft opinion from the Supreme Court.

Joe Toplyn 5 days ago

Officials are tightening the rules on concession prices at New York City-area airports after they found one bar at LaGuardia charging $27 for a beer. It was a Boston lager: Scam Adams.

Joe Toplyn 6 days ago

Over the weekend, an Idaho man broke a Guinness World Record by running a half marathon while wearing 111 T-shirts. By the end of the race he was sweating more than Vladimir Putin's food taster.