inauguration – Joe Toplyn

Joke About Celebrities at the Inauguration

Posted on January 24, 2017 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: Trump to Ainsley Earhardt: “I Don’t Want Celebs at Inauguration, I Want the People”

Punch Line: “Then do I have the band for you!” said the manager of 3 Doors Down.

Writer: Matt Neimark

Joe Toplyn 23 hours ago

It's Earth Day 2019. To mark the occasion, some members of Congress are trying to reuse and repurpose Bill Clinton's impeachment.

Joe Toplyn 1 day ago

This joke about measles at Google...how was it written? Learn how in my two-minute Joke Writing Workshop: bit.ly/2PqUC8E

Joe Toplyn 3 days ago

Today a couple got married at baggage claim in an airport in Ohio. Sadly, it took them an hour to find out all their guests went to an airport in Kentucky.

Joe Toplyn 4 days ago

Next Monday at the White House is the annual Easter Egg Roll, and already Democrats are outraged. They're claiming that William Barr hid all the best eggs.

Joe Toplyn 5 days ago

Candida auris is going around, a strain of fungus that's deadly and impervious to every known drug. On the plus side, it's gluten-free.

Joe Toplyn 6 days ago

A worker who visited Google’s headquarters has been diagnosed with measles. And apparently it's spreading. Now the Google logo has 37 red Os.

Joe Toplyn 7 days ago

Some packages of Chewy Chips Ahoy cookies have been recalled because of potential adverse health effects. No word on how Chewy Chips Ahoy cookies were ever healthy.