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Monthly Archives: November 2016

Joke About a Fashion Model Robot

Posted on November 28, 2016 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: Meet Promobot, the Fashion Runway Robot Model

Punch Line: Great, another model that won’t eat.

Writer: Patrick Lawlor

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Posted in Joke Writing Workshop | Tags: fashion, model, Promobot, robot | Leave a comment |

Joke About a Trump-Like Bird

Posted on November 21, 2016 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: Tourists flock to see Donald Trump-like bird in a Chinese zoo.

Punch Line: One thing the bird has in common with Trump—they both crap on newspapers.

Writer: Chaco Daniel

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Posted in Joke Writing Workshop | Tags: China, Chinese zoo, Trump-like bird | Leave a comment |

Joke About Virtual Reality Accident

Posted on November 17, 2016 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: Couple playing with virtual reality goggles hit by car while not paying attention.

Punch Line: The game they were playing was called “Darwinism.”

Writer: Natalie Hunter

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Posted in Joke Writing Workshop | Tags: goggles, hit by car, virtual reality | Leave a comment |

Joke About Footballer Ordained as Deacon

Posted on November 9, 2016 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: Ex-Manchester United footballer ordained as a deacon in the Catholic Church.

Punch Line: In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy GOOOAAL!

Writer: Gene McGuire

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Posted in Joke Writing Workshop | Tags: Catholic Church, deacon, footballer, Manchester United | Leave a comment |

If You Wish to Be a Writer, Write. Right? Wrong!

Posted on November 2, 2016 by Joe Toplyn

Bust of Epictetus

Aspiring writers often hear the poor advice of the Greek philosopher Epictetus, who is quoted as saying, “If you wish to be a writer, write.”

For example, this blogger states, “If you want to be a writer, then all you have to do is write. That’s all there is to it, just start writing.”

I think that’s poor advice because that’s not “all there is” to writing. That’s like telling somebody who has never driven a car before, “If you want to be a driver, just start driving. That’s all there is to it.”

Stephen KingWriter Stephen King gets much closer to making sense when he recommends this: “If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot.”

But even Stephen King’s advice is incomplete. Read a lot of what?

This is my advice to aspiring writers:

If you wish to be a writer, start by reading books about how to write.

Here’s why my advice makes sense in the context of writing scripts for TV and film:

  • Writing well, like driving well, means following a lot of rules. It just does. Writing great scripts requires knowing how to structure a story, create characters, build compelling scenes, and so much more.
  • Figuring out those writing rules by yourself—by reading hundreds of scripts, say—would take a huge amount of time. And most people value their time too much to spend it on reinventing the wheel.
  • Taking classes to learn those writing rules would cost a lot more money than buying a few books, even if such classes were available.
  • Writing without knowing those rules will result in your writing badly. You will get demoralized by your lack of success. And you will annoy your friends when you give them your bad drafts to read for their feedback.

After you’ve climbed way up the learning curve by reading a few books about how to write, then read something else: actual produced scripts in your favorite genre. Study those real-world examples of how professionals followed the rules that you’ve learned.

Many TV and movie scripts are available for free online, like at Simply Scripts and The Daily Script.

Car crashed into telephone poleAfter you’ve read a lot of how-to books and scripts, then, and only then, write something yourself.

With a firm grasp of the writing rules of the road, drive your script safely down entertaining avenues to a satisfying destination instead of into a bad neighborhood or a telephone pole.

Here are a few of my favorite writing how-to books, to get you started:

For TV writers:

The TV Writer’s Workbook, by Ellen Sandler

Writing Television Sitcoms, by Evan Smith

For movie writers:

The Anatomy of Story, by John Truby

Writing Screenplays That Sell, by Michael Hauge

The Writer’s Journey, by Christopher Vogler

Plus my friend Greg DePaul just wrote the book Bring the Funny: The Essential Companion for the Comedy Screenwriter. I’m eager to read it because he’s a hilarious guy with solid screenwriting credentials.

And, of course, if you want to write short-form comedy—the kind you see on late-night TV—get my book, Comedy Writing for Late-Night TV.The book "Comedy Writing for Late-Night TV"

Posted in Writing Tips | Tags: advice for writers, Christopher Vogel, comedy writing, daily script, Ellen Sandler, Epictetus, Evan Smith, famous writer quotes, film writing, Greg DePaul, how to be a writer, how to learn to write, if you want to be a writer write, if you wish to be a writer write, John Truby, learn to write, Michael Hauge, movie writing, simply scripts, Stephen King, TV writing, writer quotations, writer quotes, writing advice | 4 Comments |

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Joe’s Tweets

Joe Toplyn 23 hours ago

Yesterday was National Blame Someone Else Day. I was all set to write a great joke about it yesterday but Elon Musk distracted me.

Joe Toplyn 2 days ago

Today Elon Musk put his deal to buy Twitter "temporarily on hold" because he's concerned about the number of fake accounts. He said he could tell some accounts were fake because their tweets actually made well-supported points in a calm and respectful manner.

Joe Toplyn 3 days ago

This week NASA said that the James Webb Space Telescope has achieved perfect optical alignment. Apparently that involved focusing the telescope on a distant galaxy and asking it "Which is better? This?...Or this?...This?...Or this?

Joe Toplyn 4 days ago

Until recently North Korea claimed it had a perfect record in keeping out the coronavirus. But on Thursday North Korea reported its first coronavirus infection. Kim Jong Unhappy.

Joe Toplyn 5 days ago

Yesterday a former chemist for Coca-Cola was sentenced to 14 years in prison for stealing trade secrets for China. The Pentagon was very concerned. Apparently the Chinese were developing a powerful new missile propelled by Diet Coke and Mentos.

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