Joe Toplyn

Author: Joe Toplyn

  • Joke About Beavis and Butt-Head

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    Joe Toplyn
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    The joke: That pop culture phenomenon “Beavis and Butt-Head” is returning to television. You’ll be able to see them on September 29 at the first presidential debate. How I wrote it: I focused on this news item because I thought I could get a laugh out of referring to a couple of unexpected people as…

  • Joke About Statehood for Washington DC

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    Joe Toplyn
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    The joke: Today the House voted to grant statehood to Washington DC. They also picked a Washington DC state bird. It has a blue left wing, a red right wing, and it just flies around in circles. How I wrote it: I gravitated to this news item because the handle “Washington DC” promised me the…

  • Joke About a Bear Attack

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    Joe Toplyn
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    The joke: A woman in California was attacked by a bear but fought it off with her laptop computer. She said the bear ran away terrified when she showed it President Trump’s Twitter feed. How I wrote it: This news item caught my eye because it’s easy to understand and has a couple of promising…

  • Joke About Coronavirus TV Shows

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    Joe Toplyn
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    The joke: The governor of California said TV production can start up again with proper safety measures. So along with “The Masked Singer” you’ll see “The Masked Bachelor,” “The Walking and Hand-Washing Dead,” and “Last Man Standing Six Feet Away.” How I wrote it: This news item drew my attention because it has two handles…

  • Joke About a Ring in Green Beans

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    Joe Toplyn
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    The joke: An Australian woman found a gold ring in a package of green beans. “I thought he’d never ask,” said the woman, the future Mrs. Jolly Green Giant. How I wrote it: This is the first line of the story I saw on the UPI website: “A gold ring found in a package of…

  • Joke About That Ozarks Pool Party

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    Joe Toplyn
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    The joke: Missouri health officials told the people at that crowded Ozarks pool party to self-quarantine for 14 days. Partiers responded by socially isolating the middle finger of one hand from their other fingers. How I wrote it: This news story was covered widely so I thought it would be a good topic for a…

  • Joke About Hertz Going Bankrupt

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    Joe Toplyn
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    The joke: As a result of too much debt and the coronavirus, Hertz filed for bankruptcy. Plus Hertz officials owe an extra billion dollars because they didn’t return the company with a full tank of gas. How I wrote it: I focused on this business story because the big news outlets were covering it, which…

  • Joke About a Gym on Lockdown

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    Joe Toplyn
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    The joke: A Pennsylvania gym reopened during the state’s lockdown and received four citations. Actually the gym received a high-intensity set of two citations, then had a one-minute cool down, then received another set of two citations. How I wrote it: This news item drew my attention because it’s about a huge story, the coronavirus…

  • Joke About Concrete Made With Urine

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    Joe Toplyn
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    The joke: The European Space Agency says that to make concrete on the Moon, one useful ingredient could be human urine. They’re calling the project “One giant leak for mankind.” How I wrote it: This was one of those news items that makes you think, “There has to be a joke in there somewhere.” The…

  • Joke About Madonna and the Coronavirus

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    Joe Toplyn
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    The joke: Singer Madonna revealed that she has coronavirus antibodies. She says she has no idea how she caught the coronavirus, and neither does her latest lover, a Chinese horseshoe bat. How I wrote it: When I read that Madonna had said something about having a disease I immediately thought about her having contracted it…