Author: Joe Toplyn
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Joke About Ruth’s Chris Steak House
The joke: Ruth’s Chris Steak House will return the $20 million small-business loan it received from the government. When asked for comment, steak experts said, “Well done.” How I wrote it: To write this joke I used my Punch Line Maker #1–Link two associations of the topic–but in an unconventional way. The conventional way is…
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Joke About a Bond Girl
The joke: Actress Honor Blackman, who played Bond girl Pussy Galore, passed away. Memorial donations may be made to the American Cooter Society. How I wrote it: I wanted to turn this news item into a joke because the single entendre “Pussy Galore” was just begging to be mocked. The other topic handle, “passed away,”…
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Joke About Squirrels and the Coronavirus
The joke: In New York City, there’s a new field hospital for coronavirus patients in Central Park. It has the squirrels so concerned that they’re rubbing Purell on their nuts. How I wrote it: This news item caught my eye because it had to do with Central Park. More on that later. To write the…
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Joke About a Toilet Paper Calculator
The joke: A new website can calculate how long your supply of toilet paper will last. You just input your height, your weight, and whether you eat at Chipotle. How I wrote it: I picked this topic because a joke about calculating toilet paper usage seemed like it could proceed in a lot of different…
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Joke About Google and the Coronavirus
The joke: Today Google announced a website in the U.S. where you can go to get information about the coronavirus. They’re calling it “Google.” How I wrote it: One reason this news item attracted my attention is that both topic handles–“Google” and “coronavirus”–have multiple associations that might be linked to create a punch line. So…
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Joke About Jussie Smollett
The joke: Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson tested positive for coronavirus. Not to be outdone, Jussie Smollett says he was attacked by a coronavirus wearing a MAGA hat. How I wrote it: I started with the punch line and worked backwards using my Punch Line Maker #2–Link the topic to pop culture. The coronavirus pandemic…
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Joke About the New James Bond Movie
The joke: The release of the new James Bond movie has been postponed to November because of the coronavirus. Apparently they’re adding a scene where Q gives Bond a special wristwatch that shoots hand sanitizer. How I wrote it: I gravitated toward this news item because it combines two topics that many people are interested…
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Joke About Jussie Smollett
The joke: Actor Jussie Smollett faces new charges of lying to the police about being attacked. Apparently for Valentine’s Day, he told the police he was shot with an arrow by a chubby little guy with wings and a diaper. How I wrote it: In Touch Weekly reprinted this joke in its March 9, 2020,…
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Joke About the Coronavirus
The joke: The CDC says that the risk of the coronavirus to Americans is low. So if you see somebody who’s nauseous, vomiting, coughing up blood…it’s just Mike Bloomberg after last night’s debate. How I wrote it: Sometimes when writing a joke you can start with a punch line and work backwards. I wanted to…