Author: Joe Toplyn
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Joke About Apollo 11
The joke: Tomorrow is the 50th anniversary of the Apollo 11 landing. President Trump celebrated by telling Buzz Aldrin to go back to the moon where he came from. How I wrote it: One of the big news stories at the time was how President Trump tweeted that four congresswomen should “go back” to the…
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Joke About a Cryptocurrency Theft
The joke: A Japanese cryptocurrency exchange was hacked and lost 3.5 billion yen worth of virtual money. To put that into perspective, that’s no money. How I wrote it: Cryptocurrencies seem to me to be such a sketchy financial vehicle that my first thought on reading this news item was something like, “Is virtual money…
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Joke About That 7.1 Earthquake
The joke: Recently Southern California was rocked by a 7.1 magnitude earthquake. The good news is, as a 7.1, it’s unlikely that President Trump would grope it. How I wrote it: I focused on this topic because it was a big news story and it had a couple of handles–“Southern California” and “earthquake”–with a lot…
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Joke About the Democratic Debate
The joke: Airing tonight on NBC is the first Democratic presidential debate. Over 20 million people are expected to watch…and those are just the candidates. How I wrote it: I picked the debate as a joke topic because it was very much in the news at the time. I originally worded the topic something like…
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Joke About a Rat at Buffalo Wild Wings
The joke: In California, a live rat fell from the ceiling and landed on a table at Buffalo Wild Wings. The good news is, the rat came with a choice of sixteen dipping sauces. How I wrote it: This topic seemed to offer a lot of directions to go in for punch lines. Maybe Punch…
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Joke About O. J. on Twitter
The joke: Released from prison after only nine years, O. J. Simpson has now joined Twitter. That makes sense. O. J. loves short sentences. How I wrote it: This topic caught my eye because both handles–“O. J. Simpson” and “Twitter”–seemed to have enough associations that could be linked to form a punch line. I know…
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Joke About Dunkin’ Donuts
The joke: In NJ, some Dunkin’ Donuts customers may have been exposed to hepatitis A. It’s all part of the company’s new slogan, “America Runs a Fever on Dunkin’.” How I wrote it: I focused on this news item because both of its handles, “Dunkin’ Donuts” and “hepatitis A,” seemed to have a lot of…
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Joke About the Godzilla Movie
The joke: Now in theaters, “Godzilla: King of the Monsters.” It’s very exciting. Mothra, Rodan, and the three-headed King Ghidorah decide the only way to stop Godzilla is to impeach him. How I wrote it: Newly released movies tend to make good joke topics, especially on slow news days. People are usually interested in movies…
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Joke About Trump and Wine Day
The joke: Today is National Wine Day. To mark the occasion, congressional Democrats sent over to President Trump a Subpoena Grigio. How I wrote it: The topic caught my eye because the handle “wine” has a lot of associations that can be used to create punch lines. The other possible handle in the topic is…
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Joke About Goodwill’s Hand Grenade
The joke: In Florida yesterday, workers at a Goodwill store emptied a donation bin and found a hand grenade. That’s weird. Wouldn’t you donate a hand grenade to The Salvation Army? How I wrote it: To construct the punch line I used my Punch Line Maker #4: Find a play on words in the topic.…