Tag Archives: McDonald’s

Joke About McDonald’s in Russia

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The joke:

Today McDonald’s said it’s closing all its restaurants in Russia because of Ukraine. Is that a good idea? If McDonald’s really wants to hurt the Russians it should open up more restaurants, hand out free artery-clogging fries and Big Macs, attack the Russians from the inside.

How I wrote it:

Russia’s invasion of Ukraine is a huge news story, so I didn’t think I could ignore it. At the same time, it’s a difficult story to write jokes about because large numbers of innocent people are dying and getting displaced. If an audience is thinking about those tragic facts, they won’t laugh.

To write jokes about a high-profile but upsetting topic, a useful technique is to steer clear of the most disturbing aspects of the topic. So if the topic is Russia invading Ukraine, a joke writer wouldn’t remind the audience of all the death and destruction.

Instead, the writer would focus on a secondary, less-upsetting aspect of the topic. In this case, I noticed that McDonald’s is closing all its restaurants in Russia.

Now I had a topic somewhat related to Russia’s invasion that I thought the audience would let me joke about. So I used my Punch Line Maker #1: Link two associations of the topic.

One handle of the topic is “McDonald’s,” which I associate with “unhealthful food.” The other topic handle is “Russia,” which nowadays I associate with “needs to be attacked.” I linked those two associations in a punch line that suggests using McDonald’s food to attack the Russians.

In editing the joke I used my Joke Maximizer #9–Get specific. I did that by listing particular menu items instead of just writing “unhealthful food.”

And when I chose those menu items I employed my Joke Maximizer #7–Use stop consonants, alliteration, and assonance. “Hand out free artery-clogging fries and Big Macs” has nine stop consonants, a lot for only twelve syllables.

Joke About Exercise Bikes in McDonald’s

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The joke:

McDonald’s in China is testing exercise bikes that customers can ride while they eat, to stay healthier. Experts say the idea of staying healthy while eating at McDonald’s is perfect for customers who are McDelusional.

How I wrote it:

The original news story focused mainly on how McDonald’s in China wants the exercise bikes to “inspire more green behaviours”: the bikes can generate electricity, which can be used to charge electronic devices like mobile phones.

But at least one version of the story also mentioned that the company thought the bikes would promote healthiness. That idea struck me as ridiculous, which led me to believe I could write a joke reflecting that emotional reaction.

To do that, I used my Punch Line Maker #6, asking the question “Who would believe that eating at McDonald’s could be healthy?” The obvious answer to that question–somebody who’s delusional–became the basis of my punch line.

When I worded the punch line, I wanted to obey my Joke Maximizer #11–Don’t be too on-the-nose. I also noticed that “delusional” sounds a little like “Donald.” So I devised the portmanteau “McDelusional” to make my point without being completely direct about it.

Finally I wrote an angle that reinforces the supposed connection between McDonald’s food and healthiness. That way my punch line about delusion would be immediately clear.

A lot of people don’t like jokes involving puns and other forms of wordplay. But this joke is an example of how wordplay jokes can be funny as long as they’re well-constructed. For more about this, read my article “Why Do People Not Like Puns?”