Author: Joe Toplyn
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Joke About Overpriced Beer
The joke: Officials are tightening the rules on concession prices at New York City-area airports after they found one bar at LaGuardia charging $27 for a beer. It was a Boston lager: Scam Adams. How I wrote it: I thought I could turn this news item into a joke because the idea of high-priced beer…
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Joke About National Teacher Appreciation Day
The joke: Today in the U.S., it’s National Teacher Appreciation Day. I know, that’s a long word. Just sound it out. Uh…pree…shee…AY…shun. Can anybody tell me what that means? Anybody? How I wrote it: I picked this news item because the topic handle “teacher” seemed to have associations that I could use to create a…
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Joke About Hot Glue Guns
The joke: Dollar Tree is recalling more than a million hot glue guns because they can malfunction. And some people are pretty angry about it. In fact, Martha Stewart said, “You can have my hot glue gun when you pry it from my cold, dead hands that I’ve hot-glued it to.” How I wrote it:…
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Joke About Will Smith’s Slap
The joke: Yesterday “King Richard” Oscar-winner Will Smith apologized to Chris Rock for slapping him in the face at the Academy Awards. Smith also apologized to Venus and Serena Williams for not following-through on his forehand. How I wrote it: I wanted to write a joke about this news item because it featured a topic…
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Joke About the Sanctions on Russia
The joke: According to Reuters, sanctions are really hurting the Russian economy. Things are so bad that to save money commuting to work, some Russian oligarchs are yacht-pooling. How I wrote it: I wanted to write a joke that was related in some way to the war in Ukraine because it’s a huge news story.…
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Joke About McDonald’s in Russia
The joke: Today McDonald’s said it’s closing all its restaurants in Russia because of Ukraine. Is that a good idea? If McDonald’s really wants to hurt the Russians it should open up more restaurants, hand out free artery-clogging fries and Big Macs, attack the Russians from the inside. How I wrote it: Russia’s invasion of…
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Joke About Simone Biles’s Engagement
The joke: Olympian gymnast Simone Biles and NFL player Jonathan Owens just got engaged. They said they fell head over heels in love, although in Biles’s case it was head over heels over head over heels over head then a double salto layout with a half-twist and she stuck the landing. How I wrote it:…
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Joke About Putin’s Valentine
The joke: Monday is Valentine’s Day, and everybody’s getting into the spirit. Even Vladimir Putin sent Ukraine a Valentine reading “Won’t you be mine?” How I wrote it: I wanted to write a joke about Valentine’s Day because it’s a well-known cultural phenomenon. It also has lots of associations–cards, candy, flowers, Cupid, and so on–which…
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Joke About the New White House Cat
The joke: There’s a new White House pet, a short-haired cat named Willow. Between all the napping, getting groomed, and wandering around aimlessly, President Biden hasn’t had the time to meet the cat yet. How I wrote it: I thought I could turn this news item into a joke because the topic handles “cat” and…
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Joke About a Pfizer Pill in France
The joke: Today Pfizer said it will add a production facility for its antiviral Covid-19 pill in France. Is that a good idea? If you’re making a pill that gives you back your sense of smell, do you really want to do that in France? How I wrote it: I chose this news item to…