Author: Joe Toplyn
-
Joke About Prince Andrew’s Titles
The joke: Today Buckingham Palace announced that Prince Andrew has been stripped of all his military titles and charities. The good news is, for those plane trips to Jeffrey Epstein’s private island, Prince Andrew gets to keep the frequent flyer miles. How I wrote it: I chose this topic because it was a big news…
-
Joke About Free Covid Test Kits
The joke: According to the Biden administration, free Covid test kits will be made available to anyone who wants one starting later this month. The bad news is, the test kits are being provided by Elizabeth Holmes. How I wrote it: I thought this news story would be good to base a joke on because…
-
Joke About Exercise Bikes in McDonald’s
The joke: McDonald’s in China is testing exercise bikes that customers can ride while they eat, to stay healthier. Experts say the idea of staying healthy while eating at McDonald’s is perfect for customers who are McDelusional. How I wrote it: The original news story focused mainly on how McDonald’s in China wants the exercise…
-
Joke About the Webb Space Telescope
The joke: Yesterday was the launch of the $10 billion Webb Space Telescope. Astronomers say it’s so powerful that it’ll be able to scan the universe and find someone who actually went to see Steven Spielberg’s “West Side Story.” How I wrote it: I wanted to write a joke about the Webb Space Telescope because…
-
Joke About a Camel Beauty Contest
The joke: Forty-three camels have been disqualified from a popular camel beauty contest in Saudi Arabia for getting Botox injections and other cosmetic enhancements. The news about the camel beauty contest was announced by Saudi Arabia’s Minister of Stereotypes. How I wrote it: This news item caught my attention because it’s so odd. Plus my…
-
Joke About Stealing Legos
The joke: In Germany over the weekend, burglars broke through the wall of a toy store and stole dozens of Lego sets. Luckily they left behind the 12,000-piece Lego Ultimate Collector Series Wall Hole Repair Set. How I wrote it: I thought this news item would make a good topic for a joke because it…
-
Joke About Black Friday Shopping
The joke: It’s the day after Thanksgiving, one of the biggest shopping days of the year, and the crowds are huge. Over 600 people are in line waiting to get into some stores in California…and those are just the shoplifters. How I wrote it: I wanted to write a joke about Black Friday because it’s…
-
Joke About a Ban on Ketchup Packets
The joke: To cut down on waste, a new ordinance in Los Angeles will ban free ketchup packets unless diners ask for them first. And it gets better. If diners want salt, they’ll have to settle for the sweat dripping off the fry cook’s forehead. How I wrote it: The original news item seemed promising…
-
Joke About Tuna DNA at Subway
The joke: A lawsuit filed in California says that the tuna in Subway restaurants contains no detectable tuna DNA. The good news is, the DNA tests also prove that Subway’s Italian cold cuts can trace their ancestry back to Julius Caesar. How I wrote it: I thought I could write a good joke about this…