Author: Joe Toplyn
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Joke About Daylight Saving Time in Washington
The joke: Daylight Saving Time ends this Sunday but they’re still arguing about the details in Washington. The Republicans are only agreeing to set clocks back half an hour and the Democrats want to buy everybody in America a new clock. How I wrote it: I wanted to do a joke about Daylight Saving Time…
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Joke About Bill Clinton in the Hospital
The joke: Yesterday former President Bill Clinton was released from the hospital after being treated for an infection. While he was there he got intravenous antibiotics, intravenous fluids, and 14 nurses’ phone numbers. How I wrote it: This news story got my attention because it involved Bill Clinton. When I was working for Dave Letterman…
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Joke About Aspirin and Heart Attacks
The joke: Today a panel of experts changed its recommendation and said that now most adults should not take daily aspirin to prevent a heart attack. But they said that most adults should take daily aspirin to prevent headaches from listening to experts always changing their recommendations. How I wrote it: This news item caught…
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Joke About Tesla Moving Its Headquarters
The joke: Tesla announced that its headquarters is moving from California to Texas. Which means that if the headquarters is on Autopilot, it’ll probably crash into Colorado. How I wrote it: The original news item was something like, “Tesla has announced it will move its company headquarters to Texas from California.” The two topic handles…
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Joke About a Government Shutdown
The joke: Today the House and Senate passed a deal to avoid a government shutdown. So the good news is that the government can carry on as usual. The bad news is that the government can carry on as usual. How I wrote it: I decided to write a joke about this topic because it…
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Joke About a Dog Wedding
The joke: A group in a Chicago suburb is trying to set a world record for the largest dog wedding ceremony, with over 300 dogs. The dogs don’t really care about getting married. They just want to play Fetch the Bouquet. How I wrote it: I chose this news item because both of the topic…
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Joke About Counterfeit Grocery Coupons
The joke: This week a Virginia woman was sentenced to 12 years in prison for running a massive scam involving counterfeit grocery coupons. The good news is, her sentence was 50% off. How I wrote it: This news item got my attention because it has two topic handles that seemed to have enough associations to…
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Joke About Jeff Bezos
The joke: Jeff Bezos, the former CEO of Amazon, is investing in a startup that’s trying to extend human life. He says the work is very important to him: The more years you live, the more annual membership fees you’ll pay for Amazon Prime. How I wrote it: This news item seemed like a good…
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Joke About Zoom
The joke: The quarterly revenue of Zoom Video Communications Inc. passed a billion dollars for the first time. Actually, Zoom tried to announce those results yesterday but it was on mute. How I wrote it: This news item caught my eye because I quickly realized that the topic handle “Zoom” has the association “being on…