Author: Joe Toplyn
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Joke About Cocaine in Bananas
The joke: Police in Montenegro say they’ve seized over 1 ton of cocaine hidden in a shipment of bananas. Police became suspicious when they read the new book, “Curious George Joins the Sinaloa Cartel.” How I wrote it: This news item seemed like a promising topic for a joke because its two handles–“1 ton of…
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Joke About the Iowa State Fair
The joke: The Iowa State Fair is offering fairgoers free Covid-19 vaccinations. State health officials are concerned about the delta variant, the lambda variant, and because it’s a state fair, a deep-fried variant. How I wrote it: I thought I could get a good joke out of this news story because the topic handles–“state fair”…
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Joke About Vegan Pepperoni Pizza
The joke: Pizza Hut just added this to its menu: pizza with vegan pepperoni that’s made from rice and peas. It’s for pizza lovers whose favorite toppings are rice and peas. How I wrote it: This news item caught my eye because it seemed a little odd: Pepperoni is such a small part of a…
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Joke About Wearing Masks in NY
The joke: New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio strongly urged vaccinated people to wear masks indoors. He said masks would help protect New Yorkers from Covid-19, the Delta variant, and Governor Cuomo’s lips. How I wrote it: I wanted to write a joke based on the Cuomo sexual harassment accusations because jokes about politicians…
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Joke About American Airlines
The joke: Because of fuel delivery delays, today American Airlines urged its pilots to do everything possible to conserve fuel. So if an American Airlines pilot tells you he just flew in from Phoenix and boy, are his arms tired, it’s not a joke. How I wrote it: This news item caught my attention because…
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Joke About Jeff Bezos’s Space Flight
The joke: Amazon founder Jeff Bezos arrived safely back on earth in his space capsule this morning. And an email from Amazon said the other three passengers will arrive later in a separate shipment at no additional charge. How I wrote it: I chose this news item to base a joke on because it was…
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Joke About the Air and Space Museum
The joke: Amazon founder Jeff Bezos is donating $200 million to the Smithsonian for its Air and Space Museum. He says he can relate to the Air and Space Museum because those huge boxes that Amazon uses to mail tiny items are mostly full of air and space. How I wrote it: I thought I…
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Joke About the Tokyo Olympics
The joke: Today the Prime Minister of Japan confirmed that spectators will be banned from all Olympics events in Tokyo. He also introduced a new Olympics mascot: Hello Kitty’s antisocial cousin, Goodbye Kitty. How I wrote it: This news item got my attention because it was a pretty big story. It also seemed to offer…
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Joke About the Yale School of Drama
The joke: After receiving a $150 million donation, the Yale School of Drama is eliminating tuition for all students. The students jumped for joy, then asked if that was too much and tried another reaction where they just clapped. How I wrote it: When I read this news item, the topic handle “the Yale School…
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Joke About Gunplay at Burger King
The joke: In Tennessee, two people were arrested for reportedly shooting up a Burger King after a dispute over a chicken sandwich. Apparently for them, “Have It Your Way” included wearing handcuffs. How I wrote it: This news item caught my attention because the crime it describes is so dumb. Plus the news item includes…