Author: Joe Toplyn
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Joke About a Naked Skydiver
The joke: A Nebraska man set a new world record by making 60 skydiving jumps in 24 hours while naked. He also set a new world record for most seagulls lodged in a human rectum. How I wrote it: This news item attracted my interest because it described such a weird achievement. It also summoned…
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Joke About Eating Cicadas
The joke: Today the FDA said to avoid eating cicadas if you’re allergic to seafood. Was that really necessary? Was anybody really looking for a reason not to eat cicadas? How I wrote it: When I read the news item about eating cicadas I had the reaction “That’s disgusting.” Having an emotional reaction to a…
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Joke About Covid-19 Escaping
The joke: Scientists now think that Covid-19 may have escaped from a lab in Wuhan, China. As evidence, they point to a cell in the lab where there’s a blanket almost covering a dummy coronavirus head made of papier-mache and hair clippings. How I wrote it: I used my Punch Line Maker #1: Link two…
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Joke About Amazon Buying MGM
The joke: Amazon is in talks to buy Hollywood studio MGM, home of the James Bond movies. In fact, Amazon is already planning to remake one of them and call it “From Russia with Free Shipping.” How I wrote it: The original news headline was something like “Amazon in talks to buy Hollywood studio MGM…
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Joke About Harry & Meghan & Proctor & Gamble
The joke: The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have signed a partnership agreement with Procter & Gamble, the maker of Charmin. Insiders say their first project will be a new bathroom tissue called Royal Flush. How I wrote it: This news item grabbed my attention because Procter & Gamble is associated with the many products…
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Joke About “The Phantom of the Opera”
The joke: In October, “The Phantom of the Opera” is returning to Broadway. But things will be reversed because of Covid: If the audience takes off their masks, it’s the Phantom who’ll scream. How I wrote it: The actual news story that I read was about Broadway theaters reopening after having been shut down by…
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Joke About Biden’s Spending Plan
The joke: President Biden is building support for his $4 trillion spending plan. For example, he’s telling Americans that he’ll charge it to a credit card and share the 4 trillion reward miles. How I wrote it: I chose to write a joke about this topic because Biden’s spending plans were the subject of a…
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Joke About Earth Day
The joke: It’s Earth Day 2021, and President Biden is taking deforestation very seriously. This morning he looked in the mirror and made a solemn pledge to plant 100 new hair plugs. How I wrote it: I chose Earth Day as a joke topic because holidays tend to have a lot of associations that can…
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Joke About Disney’s New Dress Code
The joke: This week Disney announced that its theme park employees will have a more flexible dress code. And it’s about time. Finally, animation fans can go Donald Duck-style: no pants. How I wrote it: I gravitate toward news stories about Disney for joke writing because the topic has so many well-known associations that can…