Author: Joe Toplyn
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Joke About Vladimir Putin
The joke: Today Russian President Vladimir Putin signed a law allowing him to run for president two more times. The law also extended absentee voting: whoever votes against Putin goes mysteriously absent. How I wrote it: I focused on this news item because I felt like, for a change, writing a joke about a politician…
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Joke About Marshmallow Peeps
The joke: It’s almost Easter, and for a lot of people that means Marshmallow Peeps. There are marshmallow bunnies, marshmallow chicks, and new this year for Covid–marshmallow bats. How I wrote it: I wanted to write a joke about Easter because the holiday, two days away, was in a lot of people’s minds. Plus the…
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Joke About Free Doughnuts
The joke: Krispy Kreme will give you a free glazed doughnut every day this year if you’ve received a Covid-19 vaccination. It’s all part of their new Covid promotion: “Fattening the Curve.” How I wrote it: This news item drew my attention because it has two topic handles, “doughnut” and “Covid-19 vaccination,” with plenty of…
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Joke About the Bridgestone Tire Vaccine
The joke: Today the Bridgestone tire company said it will offer its employees $100 to get a Covid vaccine shot. Apparently some employees are worried that the puncture might give them a flat arm. How I wrote it: I focused on this news item because both topic handles–“tire” and “vaccine”–seemed to have useful associations for…
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Joke About Gov. Cuomo’s Powers
The joke: Today New York legislators decided to take away the pandemic emergency powers of Gov. Andrew Cuomo. The weird part is, Gov. Cuomo suggested that they do it during a game of strip poker. How I wrote it: The original news item had a headline something like “New York lawmakers strip Gov. Cuomo of…
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Joke About Hillary Clinton’s Novel
The joke: Hillary Clinton is co-writing a mystery novel. She loves mysteries and this one sounds amazing. It’s called, “How the Hell Did Trump Beat Me?” How I wrote it: This news item caught my eye because I hadn’t written a Hillary Clinton joke in a while. Plus the other topic handle, “mystery novel,” seemed…
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Joke About Woolly Mammoth DNA
The joke: Scientists in Siberia have discovered million-year-old woolly mammoth DNA. The scientists were thrilled, and so was a woolly mammoth when Maury Povich told him, “You are NOT the father!” How I wrote it: This topic caught my eye because “DNA” has a lot of associations and therefore could result in jokes that go…
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Joke About Alex Trebek’s Clothing
The joke: Hundreds of articles of clothing that belonged to “Jeopardy” host Alex Trebek are being donated to charity. The charity says if you’re the first one to grab a suit, you can buy it for $200, $400, $600, $800, or $1000. How I wrote it: This news item caught my attention because the two…
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Joke About Yankee Stadium Vaccinations
The joke: Today Yankee Stadium officially opened as a Covid-19 vaccination site. It was exciting. Anthony Fauci threw out the first syringe. How I wrote it: I thought this news story might lead to a good joke because both of its handles, “Yankee Stadium” and “Covid-19 vaccination,” have lots of associations. I turned to my…