September 2017 - Joe Toplyn

Joke About Trump and Dolly Parton

Posted on September 26, 2017 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: Dolly Parton, Jane Fonda, and Lily Tomlin Take a Shot at Trump at the Emmys

Punch Line: Trump responds by saying they have gone from 9’s to 5’s. Sad!

Writer: Robb

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Joke About Hillary Clinton’s New Book

Posted on September 18, 2017 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: One-star reviews of Hillary Clinton’s “What Happened” disappear on Amazon

Punch Line: They’re not missing. They’re just displayed on a private server.

Writer: Antoinette Scherer

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Joke About the “Doomsday Clock”

Posted on September 11, 2017 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: “Doomsday clock” scientists use to predict disaster scarily close to midnight

Punch Line: Don’t fret, in the fall you set back your disaster clocks a disaster hour.

Writer: Charlie Currie

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Joke About Dog Biscuits for Lunch

Posted on September 6, 2017 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: Mum accidentally fed her kids pet food after she filled their school lunch box with dog biscuits.

Punch Line: That was for lunch. For dinner they ate their homework.

Writer: Sam Gregory

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Joe Toplyn 2 days ago

The search warrant for former President Trump's Mar-a-Lago home shows that the FBI recovered 11 sets of classified documents. In his defense, Trump said that "classified documents" means that he "made the documents classy."

Joe Toplyn 3 days ago

Today in Germany, 31 people were injured on a roller coaster at a Legoland amusement park. But everybody’s okay because park officials quickly took the roller coaster apart and used the pieces to build a hospital.

Joe Toplyn 4 days ago

A Kansas man convicted of performing illegal autopsies has been fined more than $700,000. $700,000 for illegal autopsies! That’s a stiff punishment.

Joe Toplyn 5 days ago

Today the FBI executed a search warrant at former President Trump's home, Mar-a-Lago. Some good news for Trump, though: they actually found those 11,000 votes he was looking for in Georgia.

Joe Toplyn 6 days ago

The Casper mattress company is looking to hire people with "exceptional sleeping ability" to demonstrate its mattresses. "Exceptional sleeping ability"...so basically they're looking for people who don't watch the news.

Joe Toplyn 6 days ago

A CDC study said that last summer dozens of people got sick from bacteria and the norovirus at a splash park in Kansas. But splash park officials say the water is safe this year because heat waves and global warming boiled it.

Joe Toplyn 1 week ago

Fashion company Balenciaga is selling the world's most expensive garbage bag; it costs almost $1,800. So finally lazy people can have the perfect excuse not to take out the trash.