Joe Toplyn

  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • Galleries
    • “Late Night with David Letterman”
    • “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno”
    • “Monk”
  • Events
  • Media Page
  • Contact

Monthly Archives: April 2020

Joke About Ruth’s Chris Steak House

Posted on April 27, 2020 by Joe Toplyn

The joke:

Ruth’s Chris Steak House will return the $20 million small-business loan it received from the government. When asked for comment, steak experts said, “Well done.”

How I wrote it:

To write this joke I used my Punch Line Maker #1–Link two associations of the topic–but in an unconventional way.

The conventional way is to start by identifying two words or short phrases in the topic that stand out and could serve as the handles for creating the punch line. One obvious handle is “Ruth’s Chris Steak House.”

The second topic handle could be “loan,” “small business,” or “$20 million.” But as I thought more about the topic, and about what the restaurant chain had done, phrases like “good job” and “nice work” popped into my head.

Then I realized that “Ruth’s Chris Steak House” has the association “steak,” which has the sub-association “well done.” And I could create a punch line by linking “well done” with the idea that the restaurant chain had done a good thing.

This joke shows that a topic handle doesn’t have to be a word or phrase in the topic; it could also be something that stands out about the topic as a whole.

I considered omitting an angle and just going right from the topic sentence to “well done.” But I decided that the wordplay would be clearer, and the joke funnier, if I included an angle that repeats the word “steak” from the topic without telegraphing the punch line.

Posted in Joke Writing Workshop | Tags: loan, small business, steak | Leave a comment |

Joke About Johnson & Johnson

Posted on April 20, 2020 by Joe Toplyn

The joke:
Today health products maker Johnson & Johnson said it’s racing to develop a coronavirus vaccine. Also, because of social distancing, it changed its name to Johnson…………&…………Johnson.

How I wrote it:
This news item attracted my attention because Johnson & Johnson makes a lot of consumer products that I thought could be linked to some coronavirus association to create a punch line.

But looking at the company’s name led me to consider using my Punch Line Maker #5: Visualize the topic. I adopted a different perspective on “Johnson & Johnson,” imagining each “Johnson” to be a literal human being.

Then I brainstormed associations of the other topic handle, “coronavirus,” which led to “social distancing.” I linked that association to the idea of each “Johnson” being a literal person to create the punch line, which puts social distance between each Johnson in the company’s name.

Finally, I added an angle that explicitly mentions social distancing.  That way the angle would make the punch line clear (Joke Maximizer #4) without telegraphing it (Joke Maximizer #5).

I write my jokes to be spoken, and when I came up with this punch line I imagined that the speaker would deliver it by inserting long pauses between the elements of the laugh trigger.

But as I thought about it more, I realized that I could achieve the same effect in print by using long lines of dots. Sometimes a joke, like a wordplay joke, will only work in print and not when spoken. But this joke isn’t one of them.

Posted in Joke Writing Workshop | Tags: coronavirus, Johnson&Johnson, social distancing, vaccine | Leave a comment |

Joke About a Bond Girl

Posted on April 13, 2020 by Joe Toplyn

The joke:

Actress Honor Blackman, who played Bond girl Pussy Galore, passed away. Memorial donations may be made to the American Cooter Society.

How I wrote it:

I wanted to turn this news item into a joke because the single entendre “Pussy Galore” was just begging to be mocked.

The other topic handle, “passed away,” has the association “obituary,” which has the sub-association “memorial donations may be made to.” To connect that sub-association to “Pussy,” I needed the name of a charity that I could link to some synonym for female genitalia.

I didn’t want to get too vulgar; “Pussy” was vulgar enough. But I remembered reading that Tina Fey favors the word “cooter.”

To confirm that, I did some research and discovered that Tina used the word to name an episode she wrote for her series “30 Rock.” And in an interview quoted in Wikipedia she explained that she likes the word because “it’s one of the least graphic ways to describe the female genitals.” If the word “cooter” was good enough for Tina Fey, it was good enough for me.

Brainstorming charities turned up the American Cancer Society. The wordplay between “cooter” and “cancer” was strong enough that I was able to substitute one for the other to create my punch line.

Besides not being too graphic, “cooter” has another characteristic Tina didn’t mention that makes it funny: its two stop consonants, “c” and “t.” As my Joke Maximizer #7 advises: “Use stop consonants, alliteration, and assonance.”

For more on using stop consonants, read my article “How Jerry Seinfeld Writes a Joke, Revealed.”

Posted in Joke Writing Workshop | Tags: 007, Bond Girl, Honor Blackman, James Bond, Pussy Galore | Leave a comment |

Joke About Squirrels and the Coronavirus

Posted on April 6, 2020 by Joe Toplyn

The joke:

In New York City, there’s a new field hospital for coronavirus patients in Central Park. It has the squirrels so concerned that they’re rubbing Purell on their nuts.

How I wrote it:

This news item caught my eye because it had to do with Central Park. More on that later.

To write the joke I used my Punch Line Maker #1: Link two associations of the topic. One topic handle, “coronavirus,” has the association “Purell.” The other topic handle, “Central Park,” has the association “squirrels.”

My punch line links those two associations by stating that the squirrels are rubbing Purell on either their food or their genitals, depending on how you interpret the wordplay.

This joke is a tribute to the Central Park squirrel jokes that Dave Letterman often told in his “Late Show” monologue. This joke is typical: “It was so hot in Central Park today, I saw a squirrel rubbing sunblock on his nuts.”

For more of Dave’s squirrel jokes, here’s a short video of celebrities retelling some of them:

Part of the fun of Dave’s squirrel jokes is that “nuts,” in the context of the joke, can often only mean “genitals.” For example, nuts such as acorns don’t need sunblock no matter how hot it is.

But I like the fact that in my joke, the wordplay punch line really does have a double meaning. In this pandemic, people are not only rubbing Purell on parts of their body, but also on objects they touch frequently. So in the case of anthropomorphic squirrels, those objects could conceivably include the food they’ve gathered.

Posted in Joke Writing Workshop | Tags: Central Park, Late Show, Letterman, monologue, Purell, squirrel, squirrel joke | Leave a comment |

Sign up to get more tips and offers from Joe.

Joe’s Tweets

Joe Toplyn 15 hours ago

Because egg prices are so high, the discount store Dollar Tree has taken eggs off its shelves. A dozen large Grade A eggs was costing over four dollars, but the good news is, for a dollar you can still buy a dozen hummingbird eggs.

Joe Toplyn 2 days ago

A new report says that the virus that causes Covid-19 may be linked to raccoon dogs that were sold at a wet market in Wuhan, China. Which is bad news for people in Arkansas who like to go to the ballpark and enjoy a cold beer and a foot-long raccoon dog with ketchup and mustard.

Joe Toplyn 3 days ago

It's St. Patrick's Day 2023. To mark the occasion, Silicon Valley Bank revealed that, when it collapsed, over 90% of its liquid assets consisted of Shamrock Shakes.

Joe Toplyn 5 days ago

The Kellogg Company is splitting its snack and cereal products into two different businesses. Apparently the split is pretty traumatic. Rice Krispies had to take Snap, Crackle, and Pop aside and tell them it wasn't their fault.

Joe Toplyn 5 days ago

Yesterday two Russian jets hit a $32 million U.S. drone and it went down in the Black Sea. The good news is, as the drone went down, it popped a Chinese spy balloon.

Joe Toplyn 6 days ago

Former White House press secretary Jen Psaki said that President Biden typically "does nothing at 9:00 a.m." So when somebody says that the President has his finger on the button…it's the snooze button.

Categories

Pages

  • About Joe
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Events
  • Media Page
  • Photo Galleries
    • “Late Night with David Letterman”
    • “Monk”
    • “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno”

Recent Posts

  • Joke About a Tattoo Artist March 13, 2023
  • Joke About Valentine’s Day Doughnuts February 13, 2023
  • Joke About Disney Employees Going Back to the Office January 16, 2023
  • Joke About the Wright Brothers December 19, 2022
  • Joke About the Pine Sol Recall November 21, 2022

Pages

  • About Joe
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Events
  • Media Page
  • Photo Galleries
    • “Late Night with David Letterman”
    • “Monk”
    • “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno”

Archives

  • March 2023
  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • February 2015
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014

Categories

  • Joke Writing Workshop (358)
  • Late-Night Writing (13)
  • Writing Tips (12)

WordPress

  • Log in
  • WordPress

CyberChimps WordPress Themes

© 2014 Joe Toplyn. All Rights Reserved.