February 2016 - Joe Toplyn

A 10-year-old brought a gun to school for protection during a drug deal. School officials were upset, but did say the student is buying drugs at a high school level.

Writer: Chris Zalis

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Joe Toplyn 6 hours ago

Starting tomorrow you can register to vote at Footlocker shoe stores. Then after you get your new voter registration they suggest you walk around the store with it a little to see how it feels.

Joe Toplyn 12 hours ago

This joke about Joe Biden's endorsement...how was it written? Learn how in my two-minute Joke Writing Workshop: bit.ly/2Hm8sck

Joe Toplyn 2 days ago

A new poll says that only 22% of Americans believe that this year’s presidential election will be “free and fair.” We don't know yet what the other 78% believe because they mailed in their opinions.

Joe Toplyn 3 days ago

An Alaska dentist was found guilty of 46 felony and misdemeanor counts and sentenced to 12 years in prison. So now he's the one who's going to be told to "Open wide."

Joe Toplyn 4 days ago

The head of Russia's space agency has claimed Venus as a "Russian planet." Which makes sense because German scientists said the poison in the Venusian atmosphere came from Vladimir Putin.

Joe Toplyn 5 days ago

All the walls and ceilings of a condo for sale in Florida are completely covered in Budweiser beer cans. The condo has two bedrooms, a patio, and six urinals.

Joe Toplyn 6 days ago

Scientific American magazine endorsed Joe Biden, the first time they've endorsed a presidential candidate in their 175-year history. Biden said he was thrilled, especially because he's been a loyal subscriber since the first issue.