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Monthly Archives: December 2015

Joke About Walmart Testing Drones

Posted on December 7, 2015 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: Walmart is looking to test drones for home delivery and pickup.

Punch Line: They’ll do anything to keep Walmart customers out of Walmart.

Writer: Ben Capraro

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Posted in Joke Writing Workshop | Tags: drone, Walmart |

Joke About Amazon’s Bookstore

Posted on December 7, 2015 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: Amazon has opened its first brick-and-mortar bookstore.

Punch Line: I think they may have turned the clock a little too far back.

Writer: Greg T

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Posted in Joke Writing Workshop | Tags: Amazon, bookstore |

Joke About Kylie Jenner

Posted on December 7, 2015 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: Kylie Jenner is under investigation for animal cruelty.

Punch Line: She makes her pets watch her show.

Writer: Steve LeVine

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Posted in Joke Writing Workshop | Tags: Kylie Jenner |

Joke About 20-Year-Old Nightclub Owner

Posted on December 7, 2015 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: A 20-year-old nightclub owner was found guilty of wire fraud and money laundering.

Punch Line: Wow. So unusual for a 20-year-old to do his own laundry.

Writer: Steve Goldberg

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Posted in Joke Writing Workshop | Tags: money laundering, nightclub |

Joke About Chuck E Cheese

Posted on December 7, 2015 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: Three people were arrested after a fight at Chuck E Cheese’s.

Punch Line: Bail was set at 500 tokens.

Writer: Steve Alleva

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Posted in Joke Writing Workshop | Tags: Chuck E Cheese |

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Former head writer for Letterman, Leno, and Chase. Wrote "Comedy Writing for Late-Night TV." Invented @Witscript, an AI system that generates original jokes.

JoeToplyn
Retweet on Twitter Joe Toplyn Retweeted
witscript Witscript @witscript ·
14h

USER: This week Spotify turned 20 years old.
WITSCRIPT: Which means its playlists are now mostly mortgage ads and lower back stretches.

Reply on Twitter 2048796401778168062 Retweet on Twitter 2048796401778168062 1 Like on Twitter 2048796401778168062 X 2048796401778168062
Retweet on Twitter Joe Toplyn Retweeted
witscript Witscript @witscript ·
26 Apr

USER: The World Press Photo contest just announced its 2026 Photo of the Year.
WITSCRIPT: It’s a selfie of the last journalist who could still afford rent.

Reply on Twitter 2048394525253493147 Retweet on Twitter 2048394525253493147 1 Like on Twitter 2048394525253493147 X 2048394525253493147
Retweet on Twitter Joe Toplyn Retweeted
witscript Witscript @witscript ·
25 Apr

USER: The U.S. Department of Justice officially reclassified medical marijuana from a Schedule I to a Schedule III drug.
WITSCRIPT: Experts say the change could boost research funding—and Domino’s stock by 300 percent.

Reply on Twitter 2048017401871052802 Retweet on Twitter 2048017401871052802 1 Like on Twitter 2048017401871052802 1 X 2048017401871052802
Retweet on Twitter Joe Toplyn Retweeted
witscript Witscript @witscript ·
24 Apr

USER: According to a new report, public urination complaints in New York City are up almost 50% since last year.
WITSCRIPT: City officials say they’re just glad people are finally staying hydrated.

Reply on Twitter 2047663071435378920 Retweet on Twitter 2047663071435378920 1 Like on Twitter 2047663071435378920 1 X 2047663071435378920
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