February 2017 - Joe Toplyn

Joe Toplyn

Joke About Marijuana in Firewood

Posted on February 27, 2017 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: Over 100 Pounds of Marijuana Found in Hollowed-Out Firewood

Punch Line: Police were tipped off when they saw termites carrying in bags of Doritos.

Writer: Jack Dowler

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Joke About Blowing Up Target Stores

Posted on February 21, 2017 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: Florida man charged with trying to blow up Target stores in conspiracy to kill the share price

Punch Line: They need to rethink that bulls-eye.

Writer: Anthony Withers

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Joke About Heavier Crash Test Dummies

Posted on February 14, 2017 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: Crash test dummies get heavier as American body weights rise

Punch Line: The good news is we’re too fat to go through the windshield.

Writer: Patrick Burns

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Joke About a Mother “Proving Lactation”

Posted on February 6, 2017 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: Mother “told to prove lactation” at Frankfurt Airport

Punch Line: And was denied boarding until each of her breasts contained only 3.4 ounces of milk.

Writer: Scott Parietti

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Joe Toplyn 23 hours ago

Yesterday was National Blame Someone Else Day. I was all set to write a great joke about it yesterday but Elon Musk distracted me.

Joe Toplyn 2 days ago

Today Elon Musk put his deal to buy Twitter "temporarily on hold" because he's concerned about the number of fake accounts. He said he could tell some accounts were fake because their tweets actually made well-supported points in a calm and respectful manner.

Joe Toplyn 3 days ago

This week NASA said that the James Webb Space Telescope has achieved perfect optical alignment. Apparently that involved focusing the telescope on a distant galaxy and asking it "Which is better? This?...Or this?...This?...Or this?

Joe Toplyn 4 days ago

Until recently North Korea claimed it had a perfect record in keeping out the coronavirus. But on Thursday North Korea reported its first coronavirus infection. Kim Jong Unhappy.

Joe Toplyn 5 days ago

Yesterday a former chemist for Coca-Cola was sentenced to 14 years in prison for stealing trade secrets for China. The Pentagon was very concerned. Apparently the Chinese were developing a powerful new missile propelled by Diet Coke and Mentos.