December 2016 – Joe Toplyn

Yesterday the California Highway Patrol captured a flightless emu fleeing down the highway. Even weirder, the flightless fugitive was in a white Ford Bronco.

Joe Toplyn 2 days ago

There was a lot of talk about health care at the Democratic debate last night. Melania Trump was so inspired that she proposed her own health care plan: Manicure for All.

Joe Toplyn 3 days ago

Recently researchers discovered a species of electric eel that can generate 860 volts of electricity. To put that in perspective, one eel puts out more energy than Joe Biden.

Joe Toplyn 4 days ago

Today the Trump administration said it will ban flavored e-cigarette products. For some reason President Trump is most annoyed by the flavor Peach-Mint.

Joe Toplyn 5 days ago

Today President Trump announced that he fired John Bolton, his National Security Adviser. Trump explained, "I prefer national insecurity."

Joe Toplyn 6 days ago

A man dressed as Elmo has been charged with groping a tourist in Times Square. Children were shocked. They expect Times Square Elmos to only pick pockets.