Monthly Archives: January 2020

Joke About the Grammy Nominations

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The joke:

A former Recording Academy official claims that the nominations for the Grammy Awards are “rigged.” The claim was immediately denied by the frontrunner for “Best New Artist,” Vladimir Putin.

How I wrote it:

This was a pretty big news story at the time, right before the Grammy Awards show, so I thought a mass audience might be interested in a joke about it.

To create the joke I used my Punch Line Maker #2: Link the topic to pop culture. The topic handle “rigged nominations” is associated with “rigged voting,” so I asked myself who or what else in pop culture is associated with that in most people’s minds.

Donald Trump’s impeachment trial was underway, so Russia’s alleged interference in the 2016 U.S. presidential election came quickly to mind and I decided to base my punch line on that.

But I didn’t want to write a punch line that was on-the-nose, something like “She says that the nominations were rigged by Russia.” Instead, I wanted to make the punch line more indirect by ending it on “Vladimir Putin.” Another reason to end on that name is that it sounds funny to me, thanks in part to its three stop consonants.

Finally I added an angle that connects the topic and punch line in a smooth and logical way. Because Putin is a person, I made him a Grammy nominee as evidence of Russian interference. “Best New Artist” seemed like a logical category for him.

I also had Putin deny the claim of nomination rigging, which he would do if he really were a nominee.

Joke About the Movie “Joker”

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The joke:

The movie “Joker” got 11 Oscar nominations. Hollywood insiders say it was the most votes cast for a deranged super-villain since the 2016 presidential election.

How I wrote it:

I focused on this news item because it was a pretty big story that I thought a lot of people would be interested in.

Also, I thought I could base a good joke on who the topic handle “joker” supposedly refers to. That is, I wanted to use Punch Line Maker #2: Link the topic to pop culture.

But “joker” didn’t call to mind any surprising celebrity in particular. I considered President Trump, but he doesn’t really joke around.

Still, I thought Trump had potential for a punch line. So I came up with a description of the Joker character–“deranged super-villain”–that could also apply to Trump, thereby linking the two.

Consistent with my Joke Maximizer #11–Don’t be too on-the-nose–I only referred to Trump indirectly in the laugh trigger, instead of naming him outright.

Because many people wouldn’t agree that Trump is a “deranged super-villain,” I said that that description came from “Hollywood insiders,” a group that most people would agree is ultra-liberal. That way my punch line would have the ring of truth to a wider audience.

Although “with weird hair” also applies to both the Joker and Trump, I left it out of the joke because I thought it would telegraph the punch line. Also, Trump hair jokes have been tired for a long time.

Joke About Harvey Weinstein’s Jury

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The joke:

Jury selection in Harvey Weinstein’s trial is now underway. Harvey invites women who would like to be on his jury to come up to his hotel room to discuss it over cocktails.

How I wrote it:

Harvey Weinstein’s legal problems are an excellent source of joke topics. Because he used to be a powerful Hollywood bigwig, and his troubles are of his own creation, making a joke at his expense is definitely “punching up.”

When I saw that news item, the question formed in my mind, “How is that jury being selected?” That is, I gravitated to my Punch Line Maker #3: Ask a question about the topic.

My next step was to answer that question using associations of the topic. The main handle of the topic, “Harvey Weinstein,” has a lot of associations, like how he’d offer women roles in exchange for sexual favors, and how he’d meet those women in his hotel room instead of a public place.

So I answered my original question, and came up with a punch line, by imagining a characteristic way in which Weinstein might cast his jury.

To make sure that he’s capable of doing what the punch line says, I double-checked that he’s out on bail. A joke has to have clear logic in order to be as funny as possible.

I ended on “cocktails” because the word has an appropriate air of lechery about it. Also, my Joke Maximizer #7 is “Use stop consonants, alliteration, and assonance,” and “cocktails” packs three stop consonants into only two syllables.

Joke About Bernie Sanders’s Health

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The joke:

Two cardiologists declared that Democratic presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders is in good health. But this is odd. The doctors said he has a left ventricle and a far-left ventricle.

How I wrote it:

This news item caught my attention because health care has a lot of potentially useful associations and Bernie has a few solid associations, too.

To write the joke I used my Punch Line Maker #1: Link two associations of the topic. Bernie has the association “left,” which has the sub-association “far-left.” “Cardiologists” has the association “ventricle,” which has the sub-association “left ventricle.” My laugh trigger “far-left ventricle” links the two sub-associations.

To get a laugh, a punch line has to be accepted by most people as true. I thought that most people would accept that Bernie, as one of the farthest-left presidential candidates, would have at least one body part that could be described as “far-left.”

After I created the punch line, I completed the joke by adding the angle “But this is odd. The doctors said…” to connect the punch line logically, clearly, and naturally to the topic.

The original news item stated that Bernie released letters from three doctors, including the two cardiologists. But I didn’t mention the third doctor in my topic sentence in order to shorten the joke as much as possible, as my Joke Maximizer #1 recommends.

I got lucky that I could end the joke on “ventricle.” That word is funnier-than-average, thanks to its two stop consonant sounds, “t” and “k.”