March 2018 – Joe Toplyn

Because of the coronavirus, AMC Theaters is very close to bankruptcy. Analysts predict they'll file for Chapter 11,1:45, 4:30, and a special Chapter 7:15 in IMAX.

Joe Toplyn 1 day ago

The Chinese government has officially lifted quarantine restrictions on Wuhan. Proud officials say that Wuhan residents are ready and eager to get back to work creating a new virus.

Joe Toplyn 3 days ago

Today a judge ruled that singer R. Kelly has to stay in jail during the coronavirus crisis. Apparently the judge was concerned that Kelly would have sex with COVID-19's younger sister, COVID-15.

Joe Toplyn 4 days ago

Actress Honor Blackman, who played Bond girl Pussy Galore, passed away. Memorial donations may be made to the American Cooter Society.

Joe Toplyn 4 days ago

This joke about squirrels and the coronavirus...how was it written? Learn how in my two-minute Joke Writing Workshop: bit.ly/3bX9PIi

Joe Toplyn 5 days ago

Now underway is @WrestleMania 36. It's a little different this year because of the coronavirus. Like, a wrestler just smashed his opponent over the head with a ventilator.

Joe Toplyn 6 days ago

Because of the coronavirus there's no word on when NBA basketball will resume. In fact, the New York Knicks are still under official orders to "suck at home."