Monthly Archives: September 2020

Joke About Voting and Footlocker

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The joke:

Starting tomorrow you can register to vote at Footlocker shoe stores. Then after you get your new voter registration they suggest you walk around the store with it a little to see how it feels.

How I wrote it:

This news item caught my eye because both topic handles, “register to vote” and “Footlocker,” seemed to have enough associations to build a punch line on without too much difficulty.

When I read the item a question formed in my mind like “What would voting at Footlocker be like?” So using my Punch Line Maker #3–Ask a question about the topic–I brainstormed how to answer that question using an association of “Footlocker.”

After considering for a moment that metal contraption they use to measure your foot– Did you know it’s called a Brannock Device?–I recalled how customers often walk around in shoes to test the fit before they buy them. That’s how I came up with the basis of my punch line.

But shoes are physical objects and when you register to vote I don’t think you get anything comparably physical. So to smoothly bridge between the topic and my punch line I wrote an angle including the phrase “after you get your new voter registration.” It may not be true that you get a physical voter registration, but it’s plausible enough that the audience isn’t distracted on their way to the punch line.

I also massaged my topic to streamline the joke. Wikipedia describes Footlocker as a “sportswear and footwear retailer,” but I called them a “shoe store.” That way my topic would still be true but would tie more clearly to my punch line about customers trying on shoes.

Joke About Joe Biden’s Endorsement

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The joke:

Scientific American magazine endorsed Joe Biden, the first time they’ve endorsed a presidential candidate in their 175-year history. Biden said he was thrilled, especially because he’s been a loyal subscriber since the first issue.

How I wrote it:

I focused on this news item because it was widely reported in the media and because the topic handles “Scientific American” and “Joe Biden” seemed to have enough associations to produce a joke.

But then another handle of the topic caught my eye: “175-year history.” I decided to use my Punch Line Maker #1–Link two associations of the topic–when I realized that I could link “175-year history” to the handle “Joe Biden” with a punch line based on their shared association “old.”

But my Joke Maximizer #11 is “Don’t be too on-the-nose,” and a punch line like this would have been too direct: “They endorsed him because he’s as old as they are.” So instead I wrote a punch line that makes the same point in a more indirect way.

To ensure that the punch line would be clear, I put “magazine” in the topic. That way when the audience hears “the first issue” they’re not confused, because I’ve mentioned that Scientific American is a magazine, instead of a TV show or something.

I also adhered to my Joke Maximizer #3, “Backload the topic,” by putting “175-year history” at the end of my topic sentence. That way the phrase would be fresh in the minds of the audience when the punch line requires them to realize what “the first issue” implies about Biden’s age.

This is an example of a political joke that’s unlikely to split a general audience because it hinges on an indisputable fact–Biden is old for a presidential candidate– instead of an opinion.

Joke About a Gender Reveal Photo

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The joke:

According to firefighters, one of those terrible wildfires in California this weekend was caused by a pyrotechnic device at a gender reveal photo shoot. It turns out it was also an IQ reveal photo shoot.

How I wrote it:

This is an example of how to write a joke based in some way on a high-profile but potentially disturbing news item. In this case, the news item relates to the horrific wildfires on the West Coast of the U.S.

The key to dealing with such a sensitive topic is to write the joke so that it doesn’t call to mind the most disturbing aspects of the topic.

To do that, I used my Punch Line Maker #6: State the obvious about the topic. But the handle of the topic that I focused on wasn’t the wildfires themselves. Instead, I focused on who used the pyrotechnic device. And, to me, the obvious thing about that person is that he or she is an idiot.

So I set out to write a punch line that stated the person was an idiot and that also linked to another handle of the topic, “gender reveal photo shoot.” One of the associations of “idiot” is “low IQ.” So I constructed the linkage by substituting “IQ” for “gender.” And I had my laugh trigger.

I made the laugh trigger “IQ reveal photo shoot” instead of “low IQ reveal photo shoot” or “idiot reveal photo shoot” because I felt those last two options would be too direct, and my Joke Maximizer #11 is “Don’t be too on-the-nose.”

I also used my Joke Maximizer #6–“Make the punch line parallel”–by writing the joke the way I did instead of something like “It turns out the photo shoot also revealed an idiot.”

Joke About a Record-Setting Catfish

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The joke:

A Florida man caught a record-setting catfish that weighed almost 70 pounds. Because it was Florida, the catfish was caught while it was running naked out of a meth lab.

How I wrote it:

This news item attracted my attention because the topic handle “record-setting catfish” seemed to have associations that would be useful for creating punch lines. Plus the other handle, “Florida man,” has so many associations that it’s an internet meme.

The news item raised questions in my mind, so I tried using my Punch Line Maker #3 and asked this question: “How did he catch that record-setting catfish?”

To answer that question, I thought of associations of “Florida man,” brainstorming bizarre activities that the media might report a Florida man engaging in. To get a punch line linking “record-setting catfish” to “Florida man,” I planned to have the catfish engaging in one of those bizarre activities.

But what activity? My Joke Maximizer #9 is “Get specific,” so I knew I had to describe the activity in detail.

The first detail I added was something about the catfish’s appearance: Florida man would probably be naked, so I described my catfish as naked, even though, of course, all catfish are naked.

Then, returning to my original question, I decided to describe how the catfish had been caught. “Running naked through a Walmart” seemed like a Florida man activity, but I thought I could do better.

My Joke Maximizer #8 is “Wildly exaggerate,” so I changed Walmart to a meth lab (after double-checking online that meth is a big problem in The Sunshine State).

And I had my punch line.