Monthly Archives: June 2019

Joke About a Rat at Buffalo Wild Wings

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The joke:

In California, a live rat fell from the ceiling and landed on a table at Buffalo Wild Wings. The good news is, the rat came with a choice of sixteen dipping sauces.

How I wrote it:

This topic seemed to offer a lot of directions to go in for punch lines.

Maybe Punch Line Maker #1 would work, if I could link an association of “rat” to an association of “Buffalo Wild Wings.”

Or maybe I could use Punch Line Maker #3 and ask a question about the topic like “Why was the rat at Buffalo Wild Wings?” or “What did the Buffalo Wild Wings staff do?”

But I ended up using Punch Line Maker #5: Visualize the topic. I’ve been to Buffalo Wild Wings so it was easy for me to form a mental picture of the rat dropping onto my table among plates of chicken wings, glasses of soda, and little plastic cups of sauce.

The next step in using Punch Line Maker #5 is to exaggerate some aspect of your mental picture. So I imagined that instead of dipping one of the chicken wings into a cup of sauce, I dipped the rat into the sauce. And that different, exaggerated perspective on my mental image of the topic became the basis of my punch line.

The final step was to word the joke in a way that suggested eating the rat without being too on-the-nose. A punch line that talked explicitly about eating the rat would not have been as funny because it would have been less surprising and more disgusting.

Joke About O. J. on Twitter

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The joke:

Released from prison after only nine years, O. J. Simpson has now joined Twitter. That makes sense. O. J. loves short sentences.

How I wrote it:

This topic caught my eye because both handles–“O. J. Simpson” and “Twitter”–seemed to have enough associations that could be linked to form a punch line.

I know well how many associations O. J. Simpson has because I used many of them to write jokes for “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” during O. J.’s “Trial of the Century” 25 years ago. So another reason I latched onto this topic was because I thought it would be fun to take a shot at O. J. again, like old times.

One challenge I had was deciding on an association of O. J. that most people would agree with. Today’s mass audience might not even remember Judge Ito, the white Ford Bronco, and the bloody glove.

So I brainstormed on Twitter instead, and its short sentences came to mind. The words “short sentence” also have a meaning associated with O. J.: I thought most people would accept the idea that he should have done more prison time for the double homicide. So I used Punch Line Maker #4–Find a play on words in the topic–to link “O. J. Simpson” to “Twitter.”

The final steps in writing the joke were to add an efficient angle–“That makes sense. O. J. loves…”–and to mention “only nine years” in the topic, to highlight the second meaning of “short sentence” and make the joke clear.

Joke About Dunkin’ Donuts

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The joke:

In NJ, some Dunkin’ Donuts customers may have been exposed to hepatitis A. It’s all part of the company’s new slogan, “America Runs a Fever on Dunkin’.”

How I wrote it:

I focused on this news item because both of its handles, “Dunkin’ Donuts” and “hepatitis A,” seemed to have a lot of associations. That meant it should be relatively easy to find a surprising link between two associations from which I could construct a punch line. It turned out to be harder than I expected.

First I thought of all the types of donuts and tried to blend a donut name with “hepatitis A” or with one of its associations, like “vaccine.”

Then I thought about what donut-related thing the “A” in “hepatitis A” might stand for. Could a Dunkin’ Donuts customer also get hepatitis C, the chocolate kind of hepatitis?

Finally, to help in brainstorming, I researched hepatitis A online. Among the possible symptoms is “fever.” The phrase “run a fever” popped into my head. Wasn’t “run” also a word in Dunkin’ Donuts’ slogan?

I confirmed that the company’s real slogan is “America Runs on Dunkin’.” Adding “a fever” to the middle of that phrase gave me the surprising linkage of associations for my punch line.

The last step was to add the angle “It’s all part of the company’s new slogan,” which smoothly provides a logical, if crazy, reason why the company would expose its customers to a virus.

Joke About the Godzilla Movie

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The joke:

Now in theaters, “Godzilla: King of the Monsters.” It’s very exciting. Mothra, Rodan, and the three-headed King Ghidorah decide the only way to stop Godzilla is to impeach him.

How I wrote it:

Newly released movies tend to make good joke topics, especially on slow news days. People are usually interested in movies and their titles often lend themselves to surprising interpretations.

The new Godzilla movie seemed especially promising because Godzilla is a huge monster who causes a lot of chaos and conflict and I thought people would associate it with President Trump. That is, the topic led me quickly to my Punch Line Maker #2: Link the topic to pop culture.

But this wording of the joke, for example, would have been way too direct: “Now in theaters, ‘Godzilla: King of the Monsters.’ In this movie, Godzilla is scarier than ever. He behaves like Trump.” My Joke Maximizer #11 is “Don’t be too on-the-nose,” because on-the-nose jokes aren’t as surprising and therefore aren’t as funny.

So I decided not to mention Trump explicitly in the punch line. I also decided not to rely on the associations “Godzilla” = “monster” = “Trump,” because I thought that equation might split my audience unnecessarily.

Instead I based the punch line on how the monster Godzilla is attacked by his monster adversaries. The surprise is that they use the same technique that some of Trump’s adversaries are considering using on him.

The result is a political joke that’s unlikely to divide a mass audience because it’s based on a fact‑‑impeachment talk‑‑instead of an opinion that may not be universally held.