Monthly Archives: September 2021

Joke About a Dog Wedding

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The joke:

A group in a Chicago suburb is trying to set a world record for the largest dog wedding ceremony, with over 300 dogs. The dogs don’t really care about getting married. They just want to play Fetch the Bouquet.

How I wrote it:

I chose this news item because both of the topic handles, “dog” and “wedding,” have a lot of associations that I thought I could link into a punch line.

I brainstormed things that dogs like to do, and at the same time brainstormed activities at a wedding. Dogs like to fetch sticks and tennis balls. Are any objects thrown at a wedding? Yes–the bouquet. So I just linked those two associations to create the laugh trigger “Fetch the Bouquet.”

Dogs like to sniff each other’s butt, too. And a wedding is associated with the sentence “You may now kiss the bride.” So I also considered the wordplay laugh trigger “You may now sniff the bride.” But that laugh trigger didn’t seem clear enough because it left out the butt reference. And “You may now sniff the bride’s butt” seemed too different from “You may now kiss the bride.” So I rejected any laugh trigger about sniffing.

I used the angle “The dogs don’t really care about getting married” because it seemed like a logical way to explain why the dogs would be playing Fetch the Bouquet at their wedding.

And I added “with over 300 dogs” to the topic. Even though that detail probably isn’t necessary, I thought it made the mental image of the dogs playing Fetch the Bouquet more vivid and funnier.

Joke About Counterfeit Grocery Coupons

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The joke:

This week a Virginia woman was sentenced to 12 years in prison for running a massive scam involving counterfeit grocery coupons. The good news is, her sentence was 50% off.

How I wrote it:

This news item got my attention because it has two topic handles that seemed to have enough associations to link into a punch line. So I used my Punch Line Maker #1: Link two associations of the topic.

One topic handle, “sentenced to 12 years in prison,” has as one association “12 years.” The other topic handle, “grocery coupons,” has the association “X% off.”

Because both of those associations involve a number, I got the idea of creating a punch line that applies some percentage discount to the prison sentence.

After I wrote the punch line, I used my Joke Maximizer #1–Shorten as much as possible–by paring the topic sentence down to its essentials. The original news item was worded something like “A Virginia Beach woman was sentenced to 12 years in prison for running one of biggest coupon counterfeiting rings in U.S. history.” I shortened “Virginia Beach” to the also-true “Virginia,” and the description of the historic size of the counterfeiting ring to “massive scam.”

I also used my Joke Maximizer #3–Backload the topic–by ensuring that my topic sentence ended on the topic handle “grocery coupons.”

Often when a topic describes something bad happening I’ll consider using the angle “The good news is,” which is the angle I used for this joke. Adding “because she had a coupon” to the angle would have clarified the logic of the joke a little but would also have telegraphed the punch line. So I left those extra words out.

Joke About Jeff Bezos

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The joke:

Jeff Bezos, the former CEO of Amazon, is investing in a startup that’s trying to extend human life. He says the work is very important to him: The more years you live, the more annual membership fees you’ll pay for Amazon Prime.

How I wrote it:

This news item seemed like a good candidate for my Punch Line Maker #1: Link two associations of the topic. That’s because both topic handles, “Amazon” and “extend human life,” seemed to have enough associations to link.

“Extend human life” has the association “live more years.” So I brainstormed associations of the other topic handle, “Amazon,” that have to do with yearly events.

That’s how I thought of paying a membership fee to Amazon Prime every year. And that association fit with most people’s belief that Amazon is very eager to make money. So I decided to base my punch line on a connection between living longer and paying more fees to Amazon.

My Joke Maximizer #1 is “Shorten as much as possible.” And the joke might have worked with a shorter angle like “That makes sense.” But instead I went with “He says the work is very important to him.”  That angle heightens the surprise, and the funniness, of the punch line: the audience is led to expect that Bezos has altruistic motives, but it turns out his motives are mercenary.

The joke also might have worked if I had left “the former CEO of Amazon” out of the topic. But I decided to mention Amazon in the topic because otherwise I wasn’t sure that the whole audience would immediately connect Bezos with Amazon when they heard the punch line.

Joke About Zoom

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The joke:

The quarterly revenue of Zoom Video Communications Inc. passed a billion dollars for the first time. Actually, Zoom tried to announce those results yesterday but it was on mute.

How I wrote it:

This news item caught my eye because I quickly realized that the topic handle “Zoom” has the association “being on mute,” which I felt could lead to a punch line. I didn’t think I was the only person who had inadvertently been on mute during a Zoom meeting, so I thought a mass audience would make that association, too.

For a second topic handle I chose the entire news item, associating it with the idea of the revenue results being announced to the world. And I decided to write a punch line that linked those two associations by stating that Zoom tried to announce the revenue results but it was on mute.

While I worked out the final wording of the joke, I kept in mind my Joke Maximizer #4: Make everything clear. For example, I used the full name of the company in the topic sentence instead of just “Zoom.” I thought my audience might not instantly associate the latter with the company that hosts video meetings.

For clarity I also used a plural word, “results,” in the angle instead of a singular word like “news.” That’s because if I used a singular word, the antecedent of the word “it” in the punch line would have been ambiguous.

And I wrote “Zoom tried to announce” in the angle, instead of something like “company officials tried to announce.” That’s because I thought the punch line would be more incongruous if a company were on mute than if people were. And, in general, the more incongruous and surprising a punch line is, the funnier it is.