Setup: Kale recalled in 34 states after being mislabeled
Punch Line: It was mislabeled as being edible.
Writer: Jeremiah Ortega
Author Archives: Joe Toplyn
Joke About Miami Going Underwater
Setup: Miami could be underwater in your kid’s lifetime as sea level rise accelerates.
Punch Line: In related news, it looks like Pitbull is going to end up being a rescue.
Writer: Justin Wood
Joke About Nancy Pelosi’s Record
Setup: Nancy Pelosi Sets Congressional Record with 8 Hour Immigration Speech
Punch Line: She’s the first member of Congress to ever work 8 hours.
Writer: Ronald Carroll
Joke About F1 Grid Girls
Setup: F1 to end long-standing practice of using ‘grid girls’
Punch Line: “F-1” is… what most men would like to do to the Grid Girls.
Writer: Citizen Blaine
Joke About Toys ‘R’ Us
Setup: Toys ‘R’ Us Is Closing 180 U.S. Stores
Punch Line: Toys “Were” Us.
Writer: Larry Ryals
Joke About “The Emoji Movie”
Setup: The first film to be shown in Saudi Arabia after a thirty-five year ban is The Emoji Movie.
Punch Line: It’s all a ploy to make Saudis never want to see a movie again.
Writer: Phil Johnson
Joke About Joe Arpaio’s Senate Run
Setup: Trump Pardoned ‘Sheriff’ Joe Arpaio Announces Arizona Senate Run
Punch Line: For the first time, Joe Arpaio welcomes a race.
Writer: Ross Bucher
Joke About the Joy of Baking
Setup: Psychologists Explain Why It Feels So Good To Bake For Other People
Punch Line: There’s no greater satisfaction than ruining someone else’s diet.
Writer: Blayr
Joke About a Butcher Delivering a Baby
Setup: Cashier, butcher help deliver baby at California market
Punch Line: “I understand these are extraordinary circumstances, Ma’am, but your baby needs to take a number.”
Writer: A.J. Glagolev
Joke About Neil Gorsuch’s Nomination
Setup: Donald Trump Considered Rescinding Neil Gorsuch’s Nomination Because He Wasn’t ‘Loyal.’
Punch Line: He stayed at a Marriott.
Writer: Christopher Scriva