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Author Archives: Joe Toplyn

Joke About Tiger Woods Cheating

Posted on October 24, 2016 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: Tiger Woods doesn’t regret cheating on his ex-wife Elin Nordegren.

Punch Line: However, he does regret teaching her how to swing a golf club.

Writer: Cassie Brenn

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Posted in Joke Writing Workshop | Tags: cheating, Elin Nordegren, Tiger Woods | 2 Comments |

Joke About Man Urinating on Plane Passenger

Posted on October 17, 2016 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: Man kicked off plane for urinating on fellow passenger

Punch Line: Because he produced more than 3.4 fluid ounces

Writer: Christopher Schmidt

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Posted in Joke Writing Workshop | Tags: passenger, plane, urinating |

Joke About Farmers Dumping Excess Milk

Posted on October 11, 2016 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: America’s dairy farmers dump 43 million gallons of excess milk

Punch Line: No use crying over it.

Writer: Mike Malyar

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Posted in Joke Writing Workshop | Tags: dump, excess milk, farmers |

Should You Include the End in a Movie Synopsis?

Posted on October 10, 2016 by Joe Toplyn

An early step in selling a movie script you’ve written is often to send a brief synopsis of the script to a reader. If the reader likes your synopsis, he or she may ask you to send the entire script.

It’s a big mistake to give away the ending of your movie in your synopsis.

Plenty of screenwriting advisers disagree with me. For example, in this InkTip article entitled “Your Synopsis Should Not Be These 3 Things,” Michael Kim recommends, “Spoil the ending in your synopsis.”

And Allen B. Ury writes in an article for Greenlight My Movie, “Should you reveal your ending? Absolutely.”

Here’s why I strongly disagree with both advisers.

A big pile of movie scripts

The purpose of a script synopsis is not to make a reader’s life easier.

The purpose of a script synopsis is not to give away all the key elements of your script, for free, to a total stranger who is hungry for new movie ideas.

Instead, as Kim himself points out, the purpose of a script synopsis is “to compel the reader to read the script.”

Spoiling the ending in the synopsis will not help to compel a reader to read the script.

Consider this. If your synopsis gives the reader the main characters and the entire story, including the end, the only reason for the reader to read your script is to see how you handle dialogue.

But dialogue is a minor part of any movie script. Premise, characters, and story are almost everything.

So sending the reader a synopsis that includes the end is basically giving away your entire script to the reader. Why then would an overworked reader bother reading your actual script?

movie_trailer

Here’s a show business analogy. The purpose of any movie trailer is to compel the public to spend time and money to see the movie. That makes a trailer the movie marketing equivalent of a script synopsis.

Does a movie trailer ever include the ending of the movie? Never!

A trailer that spoiled the end would give people a reason not to spend time and money to see the movie. And a studio marketing executive who insisted that a movie trailer reveal the ending would be laughed at, and possibly fired.

So don’t include the end of your screenplay in your synopsis.

Instead, make your synopsis as compelling as possible without the ending.

Prove to the reader with your few well-crafted paragraphs that your script has an intriguing premise, engaging characters, textbook story structure in the first two acts, rising conflict, stakes that are raised, and all that good screenwriting stuff.

But omit the ending. Make the reader of your synopsis think:

“This writer seems like a total professional and this script sounds amazing. I really want to know how it ends. I guess I’ll just have to read the whole script to find out.“

Any reader who thinks like that will ask you to send your script. And your synopsis will have done its job.

As successful screenwriter William Martell says about writing a synopsis: “It’s designed to make the reader want to grab my script and start reading, NOT to give them all of the story beats so they can ‘pass’ without reading it.”

For more of my advice about writing get my book Comedy Writing for Late-Night TV.The book "Comedy Writing for Late-Night TV"

Posted in Writing Tips | Tags: Allen B. Ury, does a synopsis reveal the ending, does synopsis include ending, end, ending, Greenlight My Movie, how to write a film synopsis, How to write a movie synopsis, How to write a synopsis, InkTip, is the ending of the play or movie shared in the synopsis, Michael Kim, movie cynopsis, movie synopsis, screenplay cynopsis, screenplay synopsis, script synopsis, should a movie synopsis include the ending, Should a screenplay synopsis include the ending?, Should a synopsis for a screenplay reveal the ending?, should a synopsis for a screenplay spoil the ending, Should a synopsis give away everything, Should a synopsis give away the ending, Should a synopsis include the ending, Should a synopsis reveal everything, Should a synopsis reveal the ending, should I spoil the ending in my synopsis, Should you give away the ending in a synopsis, Should you include the ending in a movie synopsis, Should you reveal the ending in a synopsis?, Should you spoil the ending in a synopsis, William Martell | 2 Comments |

Joke About Trump’s Debate Microphone

Posted on October 3, 2016 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: Trump Claims He Lost Debate; Blames His Microphone

Punch Line: He was correct in blaming his microphone. It picked up everything that he said.

Writer: Paolo Busignani

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Posted in Joke Writing Workshop | Tags: debate, microphone, Trump |

Joke About South Korea and Kim Jong Un

Posted on September 28, 2016 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: South Korea confirms it has military plan to remove Kim Jong Un.

Punch Line: It’s sending him a free Samsung Galaxy Note 7.

Writer: Salim Alam

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Posted in Joke Writing Workshop | Tags: Kim Jong Un, Samsung Galaxy, South Korea |

How to Write a Roast

Posted on September 21, 2016 by Joe Toplyn

A roast is a series of insulting jokes about a particular person, the roastee. You write each roast joke using the same techniques that you’d use to write a joke about a topic in the news.

 

Roast of Rob LoweThe only difference is that for a roast joke, the topic is “I’m paying tribute to [Name of the Roastee].”

So here’s how to roast someone. Start by brainstorming as many associations of the roastee as you can. An association is something that most people in your audience would know about the roastee or would accept as true about the roastee.

Rob Lowe Roast

An association could be anything: something the roastee did or said, a physical characteristic, a family member. Research the roastee if you have to. Associations are the main building blocks of jokes, so the more associations a roastee has, the easier it will be to generate multiple jokes about him or her.

Of course, because you’re writing roast jokes, be sure to come up with plenty of associations that are unflattering, embarrassing, or negative in some way.

Then draw on your list of associations to create roast jokes using the joke-writing techniques that I call Punch Line Makers. I describe those techniques, and many others, in my book Comedy Writing for Late-Night TV.  Write your punch lines so that the laugh triggers are negative associations of the roastee.

I’ll show you how the process works by analyzing some jokes from the Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe. Here’s a joke about actor Rob Lowe himself:

Rob Lowe as Soda Pop

“Rob was in a movie called The Outsiders, playing a character called Soda Pop…which made sense since he was about 98-percent coke.” — David Spade

That joke was written using Punch Line Maker #1: Link two associations of the topic. One handle of the topic, Rob Lowe, has the association “Soda Pop,” which has the sub-association “Coca-Cola.”

Another, negative, association of Rob Lowe is “did a lot of cocaine,” which has the sub-association “coke.” The punch line, “98-percent coke,” links those two sub-associations in a surprising way.

When assembling your jokes into a roast of somebody, make sure your jokes don’t become repetitive and therefore less surprising and less funny. That means including jokes that rely on as many different associations as possible and eliminating some jokes that rely on the same association.

An eighty-minute show like the Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe minimizes joke repetition by also roasting the other celebrity guests on the dais.

Ann Coulter at mike

For example, here’s a joke about conservative writer and commentator Ann Coulter:

“Ann Coulter has written eleven books…twelve if you count Mein Kampf.” — Nikki Glaser

That joke is a product of Punch Line Maker #3: Ask a question about the topic. The topic “Ann Coulter has written eleven books” invites the question “What are their titles?”

The writer answered that question by using an association of Ann Coulter that the writer believed most audience members would accept as true: “Hitler,” who has the sub-association “Mein Kampf.” That answer to the question became the punch line.

When you’re writing a roast joke, you can also start with a punch line and work backward to create a topic that sets up that punch line. For example, take this joke about Rob Lowe:

Rob Lowe in a Lifetime movie“Rob has been in some of the most successful movies of our lifetime…I’m sorry, on Lifetime.” — David Spade

The writer started by associating Rob Lowe with all the movies he’s made for the lesser-prestige Lifetime network. Then the writer decided to create a punch line around “Lifetime” by using Punch Line Maker #4: Find a play on words in the topic.

A second meaning of “lifetime” is the duration of one’s life. The writer relied on that second meaning to create a topic sentence that sounds like something you’d say when paying tribute to somebody. With the addition of that topic, the joke was complete.

After you’ve written the rough draft of a joke, edit it using what I call the Joke Maximizers. This next joke, about distinctive-looking Ann Coulter, demonstrates the use of Joke Maximizer #11: Don’t be too on-the-nose.

Ann Coulter at the roast“Ann Coulter, if you’re here, who’s scaring the crows away from our crops!?” — Pete Davidson

The rough draft of that joke must have referred to Ann Coulter as a scarecrow. But just calling her a scarecrow would be too on-the-nose. The edited punch line says the same thing but in a less direct, and therefore more surprising and funnier, way.

Because roast jokes are, by definition, insulting, think hard about whether they’ll be acceptable to your anticipated audience.

If you’re roasting a non-celebrity, keep your roast jokes fairly gentle. Joke about associations of the roastee that neither the roastee nor your audience is likely to be sensitive about. And make sure the roastee has agreed to be roasted and will probably have a good sense of humor about it. That way the audience won’t feel too guilty to laugh.

Rob Lowe laughing at a roast jokeIf you’re roasting a celebrity, your jokes can be a lot harsher because in that case you’re “punching up.” The audience for a celebrity roast feels that because the celebrity is richer and more famous than they are, it’s okay to laugh at brutal jokes. It’s doubly okay because the celebrity has obviously agreed to be roasted.

 

 

Want help writing roast jokes? Make AI write jokes for you with my AI-powered joke writer app, Witscript. Explore Witscript here. Witscript logo

Posted in Writing Tips | Tags: best roast punchlines, Comedy Central, Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe, comedy roast, comedy roast ideas, how to come up with a good roast, how to come up with a roast, how to come up with roasts, how to do a comedy roast, how to do a roast, how to do a roast comedy, how to do a roast speech, how to give a roast, how to give a roast speech, how to make a good roast joke, how to make roast speech, how to properly roast someone, how to roast, how to roast a friend, how to roast a person, how to roast a person in words, how to roast comedy, how to roast someone, how to roast someone professionally, how to roast someone tips, how to start a roast, how to start a roast speech, how to write a good roast, how to write a roast, how to write a roast for a friend, how to write a roast joke, how to write a roast speech, how to write jokes for a roast, how to write roast jokes, roast, roast battle, roast format, roast joke format, roast jokes, roast material, roast material ideas, roast punchlines, roast script, roast someone, roast speech, roast speech introduction, roast template, roast topic, roasting a friend, roasting punchlines, roasting speech, roasting topic, Rob Lowe, tips for writing roast jokes, topic for roasting, writing a roast, writing a roast speech | 6 Comments |

Joke About Computers Committing Crimes

Posted on September 19, 2016 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: Computers will commit more crimes than humans by 2040.

Punch Line: This is what happens when you’re raised without a fatherboard.

Writer: Jacob Lie

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Posted in Joke Writing Workshop | Tags: computers, crimes |

Joke About 60-Year-Old Janitor Marrying Teen

Posted on September 14, 2016 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: The Love Story: A 60-Year-Old School Janitor Marrying An 18-Year-Old Student From The School

Punch Line: He did a great job of sweeping her off her feet.

Writer: BlueWolverine555

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Posted in Joke Writing Workshop | Tags: janitor, marrying, student |

Joke About Farting in a Courtroom

Posted on September 7, 2016 by Joe Toplyn

Setup: Woman farting cuts through somber silence of courtroom

Punch Line: She was advised that she had the right to remain silent but deadly.

Writer: Ryan Groves

Joe’s analysis of the joke

Posted in Joke Writing Workshop | Tags: courtroom, fart |
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Former head writer for Letterman, Leno, and Chase. Wrote "Comedy Writing for Late-Night TV." Invented @Witscript, an AI system that generates original jokes.

JoeToplyn
Retweet on Twitter Joe Toplyn Retweeted
witscript Witscript @witscript ·
19h

USER: A Florida woman was arrested for damaging two properties rented through Airbnb by urinating on objects and then posting videos online.
WITSCRIPT: So basically, she turned Airbnb into Air Pee and See.

Reply on Twitter 2041195801557299558 Retweet on Twitter 2041195801557299558 1 Like on Twitter 2041195801557299558 X 2041195801557299558
Retweet on Twitter Joe Toplyn Retweeted
witscript Witscript @witscript ·
19h

USER: A Florida woman was arrested for damaging two properties rented through Airbnb by urinating on objects and then posting videos online.
WITSCRIPT: Police say she’s now available for short‑term rentals under "heated pool optional."

Reply on Twitter 2041195799728488535 Retweet on Twitter 2041195799728488535 1 Like on Twitter 2041195799728488535 X 2041195799728488535
Retweet on Twitter Joe Toplyn Retweeted
witscript Witscript @witscript ·
5 Apr

USER: Why was chocolate candy so expensive this Easter?
WITSCRIPT: Because the Easter Bunny outsourced to Willy Wonka’s unionized Oompa-Loompas.

Reply on Twitter 2040860549508948451 Retweet on Twitter 2040860549508948451 1 Like on Twitter 2040860549508948451 X 2040860549508948451
Retweet on Twitter Joe Toplyn Retweeted
witscript Witscript @witscript ·
4 Apr

USER: According to new research, astronomers may have discovered a new type of planet beyond our solar system.
WITSCRIPT: Apparently it’s just Pluto with a fake ID.

Reply on Twitter 2040462955301486926 Retweet on Twitter 2040462955301486926 1 Like on Twitter 2040462955301486926 1 X 2040462955301486926
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