Tag Archives: tuna

Joke About Tuna DNA at Subway

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The joke:

A lawsuit filed in California says that the tuna in Subway restaurants contains no detectable tuna DNA. The good news is, the DNA tests also prove that Subway’s Italian cold cuts can trace their ancestry back to Julius Caesar.

How I wrote it:

I thought I could write a good joke about this news story because it has two topic handles, “tuna” and “DNA,” with multiple associations. So I expected I could use my Punch Line Maker #1: Link two associations of the topic.

The first association of “DNA” that occurred to me was “paternity test,” which has the sub-association “Maury Povich reveals the test results.”

But I had already written jokes over the years in which Maury revealed the paternity test results for some unusual entity. And I didn’t want to repeat myself by writing a joke about, say, the paternity of a Subway sandwich.

So instead I brainstormed other associations of “DNA.” “Ancestry tests” came to mind, which seemed promising.

Then I brainstormed associations of the other topic handle, “tuna,” like other Subway sandwich ingredients. I asked myself what other ingredient suggests “ancestry test.” “Italian cold cuts” does, because it contains the name of a country.

My next question was “What historical figure would an Italian be excited to be distantly related to?” “Julius Caesar” popped into my head, which seemed appropriately grandiose and silly in this context. And I had my punch line linking “tuna” and “DNA.”

Another reason I liked “Italian cold cuts” in the joke is because of my Joke Maximizer #7: Use stop consonants, alliteration, and assonance. “Italian cold cuts” has five stop consonants, plus the alliteration in “cold cuts.”

I often use “The good news is” as an angle when the topic conveys negative information about something.

Joke About the Subway Lawsuit

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The joke:

Two California residents filed a lawsuit claiming that there is no tuna in Subway’s tuna sandwiches. If they win, they’ll get $10 million plus, for an extra $2.60, a Diet Coke and a bag of potato chips.

How I wrote it:

This news item caught my attention because I thought a mass audience could relate to it; I know I could. Plus “Subway” has associations that I thought I could use to create a punch line. So “Subway” became my first topic handle.

But my Punch Line Maker #1–Link two associations of the topic–requires that you pick two handles of the topic. “Tuna” seemed promising as a second handle, but in connection with “Subway” it didn’t seem as interesting as “lawsuit.” So I tried “lawsuit” for the second handle.

I brainstormed associations of “Subway” and landed on “Meal Deal,” which has the association “money.” “Lawsuit” also has the association “money.” So I decided to base my punch line on those two Californians getting the Meal Deal.

But I faced a structural problem: the Meal Deal involves getting something from Subway, whereas the lawsuit involves not getting some something from Subway, namely tuna.

I solved the problem by writing an angle about what the Californians will get if they win, which let me smoothly connect to my punch line about getting the Meal Deal.

I went online to confirm what the Meal Deal includes and how much it costs. Instead of writing “a soft drink and a side,” I used my Joke Maximizer #9–Get specific–and listed specific menu items.

When I named those menu items I also employed my Joke Maximizer #7–Use stop consonants, alliteration, and assonance. “A Diet Coke and a bag of potato chips” includes a whopping eleven stop consonants.