Tag Archives: Biden

Joke About the New White House Cat

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The joke:

There’s a new White House pet, a short-haired cat named Willow. Between all the napping, getting groomed, and wandering around aimlessly, President Biden hasn’t had the time to meet the cat yet.

How I wrote it:

I thought I could turn this news item into a joke because the topic handles “cat” and “White House” each seemed to have enough associations to link into a punch line.

Turning to my Punch Line Maker #1–Link two associations of the topic–I brainstormed activities that could be associated with both a cat and President Biden. I was aiming for a joke that misleads the audience into thinking I’m talking about the cat but actually–surprise!–I’m talking about Biden.

Napping and wandering around aimlessly were the first two activities that came to mind. Cats are known for engaging in them, and I thought my audience would associate them with Biden, too.

I could have settled for just those two activities but I wanted to add a third, to strengthen the misdirection. Ideally the third activity would be one that people would, at first, associate more with cats than with Biden. “Getting groomed” did the job.

I considered keeping the punch line shorter, wording it as “President Biden hasn’t met the cat yet.” But I decided that that wording could mean the cat has been so busy that it hasn’t been available to meet Biden yet. So, for clarity, I added the phrase about Biden not having the time.

The original news item centered on the Bidens adopting the cat. But I took any reference to Biden out of the topic sentence. That’s because my Joke Maximizer #5 is “Don’t telegraph the punch line.”

Joke About Biden’s Spending Plan

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The joke:

President Biden is building support for his $4 trillion spending plan. For example, he’s telling Americans that he’ll charge it to a credit card and share the 4 trillion reward miles.

How I wrote it:

I chose to write a joke about this topic because Biden’s spending plans were the subject of a lot of news coverage. But deciding how to phrase the topic took some thinking.

The original news item had a headline like “Biden turns to Georgia to begin pitch for huge spending plan.” On that news item I intended to use my Punch Line Maker #1: Link two associations of the topic.

One topic handle, “huge spending plan,” I associated with “charge it to credit card,” which I associated with “reward miles.”

Another topic handle, “turns to Georgia,” I associated with “flies to Georgia,” which I associated with “get free plane ticket using reward miles.”

So I tried linking the association “reward miles” to the association “get free plane ticket using reward miles” with a punch line something like “But at least he didn’t spend more money to fly to Georgia because he used a free plane ticket that he got with all the reward miles he earned by charging the spending plan to his credit card.” Which, of course, is way too long and complicated.

Plus that punch line isn’t logical: With Air Force One at his disposal, why would Biden need a free plane ticket?

But I did like the idea of a punch line ending with “4 trillion reward miles.” So I simplified the topic to what you see in the finished joke, adding the dollar amount of the spending plan.

Then I wrote an angle that smoothly connects the topic to the punch line using the idea that Biden is building support by sharing all those reward miles.

Joke About Earth Day

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The joke:

It’s Earth Day 2021, and President Biden is taking deforestation very seriously. This morning he looked in the mirror and made a solemn pledge to plant 100 new hair plugs.

How I wrote it:

I chose Earth Day as a joke topic because holidays tend to have a lot of associations that can be used to assemble a punch line.

To help in brainstorming associations, I Googled “how to celebrate Earth Day.” I planned to use my Punch Line Maker #2: Link the topic to pop culture. So I asked myself whether one of the associations of the topic handle “Earth Day” suggested a celebrity in some unexpected way.

“Picking up trash” didn’t suggest anybody. For example, I couldn’t think of a celebrity who had started dating anybody who might be described as “trash.”

“Reducing use of plastic” suggested some celebrity refraining from having more cosmetic surgery. But I couldn’t think of the right celebrity; singer Cher seemed overused as a plastic surgery punch line.

Then I saw Earth Day references to deforestation and planting trees. I associated those in an unexpected way with thinning hair and hair plugs, which I then linked to President Biden.

Although I’ve seen hundreds of jokes about Trump’s hair, I can’t remember seeing any about Biden’s hair. So I did another Google search and confirmed that Biden had, in fact, had hair plugs implanted. I wanted to be sure that most of my audience would accept that association as true.

Now that I had a punch line about Biden planting new hair plugs, I edited my topic and my angle to guide my audience smoothly toward it. I added “President Biden” and “deforestation” to the topic.

I also added “This morning he looked in the mirror” to the angle, to make it clear that Biden pledged to plant the hair plugs in his own scalp and not in somebody else’s.

Joke About Biden’s Inauguration

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The joke:

The schedule is now set for Inauguration Day. And this is interesting: at the exact same time that Chief Justice John Roberts will be swearing in Joe Biden, Donald Trump will be swearing at Joe Biden.

How I wrote it:

I wanted to write a joke about the upcoming inauguration because it was a big story. But many aspects of it seemed unpromising for joke writing: the attack on the Capitol, the increased security, the possibility of additional violence.

So I brainstormed about the inauguration process itself. One of the associations that popped into my head was “swearing in,” and then its wordplay with “swearing at.” And I realized that my punch line could have Trump swearing at Biden.

That is, I only had a general idea of what my joke topic would be when I used my Punch line Maker #4–Find a play on words in the topic. And I still needed to write the topic.

The “swearing in / swearing at” wordplay suggested two events happening at the same time. So I wrote a topic that referred to the schedule for Inauguration Day.

Once I had that topic, I wrote an angle that emphasized the surprising nature of the coincidence I had invented: the two events will happen “at the exact same time.” A more surprising punch line is a funnier punch line.

I also used my Joke Maximizer #6–Make the punch line parallel–when I worded the Roberts/Biden part of the joke as much as possible like the Trump/Biden part. The parallelism would have been closer without the words “Chief Justice,” but I included them for clarity.

Joke About Joe Biden’s Endorsement

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The joke:

Scientific American magazine endorsed Joe Biden, the first time they’ve endorsed a presidential candidate in their 175-year history. Biden said he was thrilled, especially because he’s been a loyal subscriber since the first issue.

How I wrote it:

I focused on this news item because it was widely reported in the media and because the topic handles “Scientific American” and “Joe Biden” seemed to have enough associations to produce a joke.

But then another handle of the topic caught my eye: “175-year history.” I decided to use my Punch Line Maker #1–Link two associations of the topic–when I realized that I could link “175-year history” to the handle “Joe Biden” with a punch line based on their shared association “old.”

But my Joke Maximizer #11 is “Don’t be too on-the-nose,” and a punch line like this would have been too direct: “They endorsed him because he’s as old as they are.” So instead I wrote a punch line that makes the same point in a more indirect way.

To ensure that the punch line would be clear, I put “magazine” in the topic. That way when the audience hears “the first issue” they’re not confused, because I’ve mentioned that Scientific American is a magazine, instead of a TV show or something.

I also adhered to my Joke Maximizer #3, “Backload the topic,” by putting “175-year history” at the end of my topic sentence. That way the phrase would be fresh in the minds of the audience when the punch line requires them to realize what “the first issue” implies about Biden’s age.

This is an example of a political joke that’s unlikely to split a general audience because it hinges on an indisputable fact–Biden is old for a presidential candidate– instead of an opinion.