Author Archives: Joe Toplyn

Joke About a Gender Reveal Photo

Posted on by

The joke:

According to firefighters, one of those terrible wildfires in California this weekend was caused by a pyrotechnic device at a gender reveal photo shoot. It turns out it was also an IQ reveal photo shoot.

How I wrote it:

This is an example of how to write a joke based in some way on a high-profile but potentially disturbing news item. In this case, the news item relates to the horrific wildfires on the West Coast of the U.S.

The key to dealing with such a sensitive topic is to write the joke so that it doesn’t call to mind the most disturbing aspects of the topic.

To do that, I used my Punch Line Maker #6: State the obvious about the topic. But the handle of the topic that I focused on wasn’t the wildfires themselves. Instead, I focused on who used the pyrotechnic device. And, to me, the obvious thing about that person is that he or she is an idiot.

So I set out to write a punch line that stated the person was an idiot and that also linked to another handle of the topic, “gender reveal photo shoot.” One of the associations of “idiot” is “low IQ.” So I constructed the linkage by substituting “IQ” for “gender.” And I had my laugh trigger.

I made the laugh trigger “IQ reveal photo shoot” instead of “low IQ reveal photo shoot” or “idiot reveal photo shoot” because I felt those last two options would be too direct, and my Joke Maximizer #11 is “Don’t be too on-the-nose.”

I also used my Joke Maximizer #6–“Make the punch line parallel”–by writing the joke the way I did instead of something like “It turns out the photo shoot also revealed an idiot.”

Joke About a Record-Setting Catfish

Posted on by

The joke:

A Florida man caught a record-setting catfish that weighed almost 70 pounds. Because it was Florida, the catfish was caught while it was running naked out of a meth lab.

How I wrote it:

This news item attracted my attention because the topic handle “record-setting catfish” seemed to have associations that would be useful for creating punch lines. Plus the other handle, “Florida man,” has so many associations that it’s an internet meme.

The news item raised questions in my mind, so I tried using my Punch Line Maker #3 and asked this question: “How did he catch that record-setting catfish?”

To answer that question, I thought of associations of “Florida man,” brainstorming bizarre activities that the media might report a Florida man engaging in. To get a punch line linking “record-setting catfish” to “Florida man,” I planned to have the catfish engaging in one of those bizarre activities.

But what activity? My Joke Maximizer #9 is “Get specific,” so I knew I had to describe the activity in detail.

The first detail I added was something about the catfish’s appearance: Florida man would probably be naked, so I described my catfish as naked, even though, of course, all catfish are naked.

Then, returning to my original question, I decided to describe how the catfish had been caught. “Running naked through a Walmart” seemed like a Florida man activity, but I thought I could do better.

My Joke Maximizer #8 is “Wildly exaggerate,” so I changed Walmart to a meth lab (after double-checking online that meth is a big problem in The Sunshine State).

And I had my punch line.

Joke About a Solar-Powered Aircraft

Posted on by

The joke:

Today a Swiss man performed the first jump and free fall from a solar-powered aircraft. He said he decided to perform the jump when the sun went behind a cloud.

How I wrote it:

This news item made me think “A solar-powered aircraft? That can’t be a good idea.” Based on that flash reaction, I decided I could turn the item into a joke.

Then I realized that the news item also reminded me of a joke from one of the late-night shows. I wish I could remember which show, because it’s a great joke: “In California, a 90-year-old grandmother celebrated her birthday by going skydiving. Not intentionally…she just kind of wandered off the plane.”

Inspired by that joke, I turned to my Punch Line Maker #3 and asked myself the question “What surprising reason could the man have had to jump out of the aircraft?”

To answer that question, I thought of associations of the topic handle “solar-powered,” one of which is “sun.” And I realized that if the sun disappeared, the aircraft could lose power and start to fall out of the sky. That chain of logic led to my punch line.

I used my Joke Maximizer #11–Don’t be too on-the-nose–by leaving out the last two steps in that chain of logic. Otherwise the joke would have ended something like “…when the sun went behind a cloud and the aircraft lost power and started to fall out of the sky.” Not as funny.

I also made the joke a little funnier by saying “he decided” in the angle. That makes the punch line more surprising because it reveals that the man didn’t actually have much choice in the matter.

Joke About Syracuse University

Posted on by

The joke:

Syracuse University suspended 23 students for breaking rules against large gatherings during the pandemic. In their defense, the students were playing that new drinking game–Hydroxychloroquine Pong.

How I wrote it:

I decided to write a joke about this story because several news outlets covered it. Plus the topic handles “students” and “pandemic” seemed to have many potentially useful associations.

I used my Punch Line Maker #1: Link two associations of the topic. “Students,” especially in the context of college gatherings, is associated in my mind with Beer Pong.

“Pandemic” is associated with “hydroxychloroquine,” which at one point was touted as a possible treatment for Covid-19. I was pleased that the word has four stop consonants; my Joke Maximizer #7 is “Use stop consonants, alliteration, and assonance.” Substituting “hydroxychloroquine” for “beer” links the two associations and creates the punch line.

To set up the punch line effectively I used my Joke Maximizer #4: Make everything clear; I did that by including the phrase “drinking game,” so the meaning of the punch line would be immediately apparent. Is hydroxychloroquine, in fact, something you drink, like beer? Or is it a pill? I didn’t bother to check, because I didn’t think my audience would know or care.

I made sure to include “during the pandemic” in the topic, so that the connection of the topic to hydroxychloroquine would be even clearer. And I used my Joke Maximizer #3‑‑Backload the topic‑‑putting that phrase at the end of the topic so it would be closer to the punch line that relies on it.

Joke About AMC Theaters Reopening

Posted on by

The joke:

Next week the movie theater chain AMC will reopen more than 100 U.S. theaters. But they’re taking precautions for the coronavirus. To make sure the theaters get filled to less than 10% of capacity, they’re only showing Adam Sandler movies.

How I wrote it:

I focused on this news item because the topic handles “movie theater” and “coronavirus” have many associations that might be used to create a punch line.

I started with my Punch Line Maker #1–Link two associations of the topic. I considered linking the association “movie theater popcorn” to the association “virus” to create some kind of punch line about the chemicals in the popcorn butter killing the virus. But the punch line didn’t seem strong enough.

Then I tried my Punch Line Maker #3 and asked this question about the topic: “How will they keep the number of patrons low?” To answer that question, I brainstormed reasons that people might not go to the movies, one of which is that the movies stink.

That seemed like a promising area for a joke, so I needed an actor who is well-known for appearing in lousy movies. A few minutes online took me to this article, “The top 15 actors who make the worst films.”

I didn’t think enough people would recognize the first actor on the list, Rob Schneider. And the second actor has such a strong reputation for appearing in crummy movies that I thought using him might strike my audience as being lazy and hacky. But none of the other names on the list seemed to work as well in the punch line. So Adam Sandler it was.

The news story said that AMC is capping attendance in their theaters at 30% of capacity. But I changed it to 10% in my angle, exaggerating how much Adam Sandler repels audiences, to make the punch line a little clearer and funnier.

Joke About Cheetos Mac ‘n Cheese

Posted on by

The joke:

Cheetos is coming out with Cheetos-flavored mac and cheese. Cheetos Mac ‘n Cheese will come in three flavors: Bold & Cheesy, Flamin’ Hot, and I Don’t Care What I Put in My Body.

How I wrote it:

This news item caught my attention because the new product seemed to contain an unusually large amount of cheese–or at least cheese-like substances–which I thought I could write a joke about.

I turned to my Punch Line Maker #6, “State the obvious about the topic.” That’s because, to me, there was something obvious that could be stated about the new product, which is “That stuff can’t be good for you.” And I thought that most of my audience would accept that statement as true.

So I needed a punch line that said in a clever way “That can’t be good for you.” I considered naming the third flavor something like “Taste of Poor Life Choices,” but that seemed a little vague.

I also considered naming the flavor “Call 9-1-1.” But while I thought the audience might agree that the product was unhealthy, I didn’t think they’d go along with the implication that it would give you a heart attack.

Eventually I landed on the punch line you see here.

Normally I like to use Joke Maximizer #6, “Make the punch line parallel,” which would mean choosing a third flavor that’s only a couple of words long, like the other two flavors. But in this case I thought that this nine-word flavor would be more surprising in contrast, and therefore funnier.

Another way I made the joke funnier was to write the angle as “Cheetos Mac ‘n Cheese will come in three flavors,” instead of “It will come in three flavors.” I thought that repeating “Cheetos” and “cheese” as much as possible would subtly emphasize the unhealthfulness of the new product and make the punch line clearer.

Joke About National Lipstick Day

Posted on by

The joke:

Today is National Lipstick Day. So put on your favorite, sexiest color lipstick, pucker up, and then describe to people what it looks like under your face mask.

How I wrote it:

This news item caught my eye because a holiday can often be a useful handle for a joke. That’s because a holiday usually has many associations, including how people might celebrate it.

That line of thinking led me to my Punch Line Maker #2: Link the topic to pop culture. To find such a link, I started by visualizing an association of the topic handle “lipstick,” namely a woman applying lipstick.

That mental picture suggested an image of something else that people are doing to their mouths during this pandemic, namely covering them with face masks. That link became the basis of my punch line.

Next I needed an angle to guide the audience smoothly and logically from my topic to some punch line involving a face mask. I considered writing an angle about how people are carefully applying lipstick only to have it smeared by their face mask.

But instead I thought it would be funnier to make the angle about how no one can see what’s under your mask. That way I could summon up a sexy image in the angle and make the introduction of the unsexy face mask in the punch line even more surprising.

When I wrote the angle I also employed my Joke Maximizer #10–Use the Rule of Three; two unfunny activities are followed by the punch line activity of describing your lips.

Joke About Supermodel Bar Refaeli

Posted on by

The joke:

Today supermodel Bar Refaeli was convicted of evading taxes. In her defense, she didn’t actually evade the taxes; she strutted up to the taxes, struck a pose, then sashayed away from the taxes.

How I wrote it:

This news item caught my eye because “supermodel” and “taxes” each have enough associations that I thought I could probably find a surprising way to link a couple to create a punch line.

But as I thought more about the topic I focused on a third possible handle, “evading.” The active nature of that word prompted me to consider using my Punch Line Maker #5: Visualize the topic.

To do that, I formed a mental picture of the model actually walking around some taxes to evade them. Then I exaggerated that mental picture so the model was in a runway fashion show, with the taxes at the far end of the catwalk. Describing that mental picture in detail resulted in my punch line.

In my rough draft I had included a fourth action, “spun around,” after “struck a pose.” But I edited it out for my final draft because my Joke Maximizer #10 advises “Use the Rule of Three.”

The original news items all included references to either “Israel” or “Israeli,” but I left those out because they weren’t important to the joke and my Joke Maximizer #1 is “Shorten as much as possible.”

Most of the original news items also referred to “tax evasion,” but I changed that phrase to “evading taxes” to make the action more visual.

My Joke Maximizer #7 is “Use stop consonants, alliteration, and assonance,” so I was pleased that “strutted,” “struck,” and “sashayed” all begin with “s.”

Joke About a Younger Moon

Posted on by

The joke:

A new study says that the moon is 85 million years younger than previous estimates. In fact, scientists say the moon is so young that Ghislaine Maxwell introduced it to Jeffrey Epstein.

How I wrote it:

I focused on this news item for joke writing because both topic handles, “moon” and “younger,” seemed to have many associations that might be linked to create a punch line.

The general idea of something being younger than expected led me to consider my Punch Line Maker #2: Link the topic to pop culture. What people currently in the news were younger than they should have been? The girls who Ghislaine Maxwell recruited–okay, allegedly recruited– for Jeffrey Epstein. So I created my punch line by substituting the moon mentioned in the topic for one of those girls.


Before I posted this joke, I thought about whether some outraged readers might protest, “Ghislaine Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein sex trafficked underage girls. How could you possibly joke about that?” I’ll tell you how.

One basic technique for writing jokes that deal with a potentially disturbing topic is to steer clear of the most disturbing aspects of the topic. In the case of this joke, I did that in two ways.

First, I included “the moon is so young” in my angle, to be sure that the image in the audience’s mind when they read the punch line is of an enormous, round rock being offered up to Epstein and not an underage girl.

Second, I only refer to Maxwell introducing the moon to Epstein. I don’t call to mind any of the repellent details of what happened after that, like the sexual abuse.

Joke About the Bubonic Plague

Posted on by

The joke:

Over the weekend, health officials reported a case of possible bubonic plague in Inner Mongolia. So crowds of people from Lake of the Ozarks immediately flew there to have a pool party.

How I wrote it:

This news item drew my attention because I thought there might be a joke that makes a surprising connection between the medieval-sounding “bubonic plague” and the current coronavirus pandemic. That is, I turned to my Punch Line Maker #2: Link the topic to pop culture.

“Coronavirus” has many associations, but one that was top of mind for me when I wrote this joke was “oblivious partiers at Lake of the Ozarks.” For several days in a row I saw on TV and online the same footage of a pool party packed with revelers tossing around beach balls. Because I had seen the story in multiple media outlets, I was fairly confident that my audience would make that association too. So I based my punch line on it.

I thought quite a bit about how to describe those partiers. I wanted the joke to be clear, which pointed me toward a detailed description like “those people in the Midwest who you’ve seen in the news having pool parties even after they’ve been strongly urged to maintain social distance to minimize the spread of the coronavirus.”

But my Joke Maximizer #1 is “Shorten as much as possible.” So, taking into account how familiar I thought my audience was with the story, I trimmed the angle and punch line down to what you see.

My Joke Maximizer #7 is “Use stop consonants, alliteration, and assonance,” and luckily my angle and punch line have lots of stop consonants–three in “pool party” alone.