Tag Archives: Comedy Writing for Late-Night TV

How to Write a Desk Piece

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“Children grow up so fast these days. That’s the reasoning behind this latest addition to a beloved series of children’s books. It’s [HOLDS UP FAKE BOOK] Curious George and the hole in the wall of the girls’ locker room.”

Curious George and the hole in the wall of the girls' locker room

That’s an example of a joke in a Desk Piece, a type of short-form comedy that’s popular on many comedy/talk shows. A Desk Piece is a segment of fully-scripted comedy that the host performs by himself while sitting at his desk.

 

Here’s how I wrote that joke. The process was very similar to that of writing a topical monologue joke, a process I cover in detail in my book Comedy Writing for Late-Night TV.

 

I started with the topic of the Desk Piece. The topic is typically a collection of things in a particular category, in this case “New Books.” Next I brainstormed a long list of angles off that topic, that is, types of real books. Here’s a partial list of those angles:

 

stacks of bookscookbooks  *  dictionaries  *  puzzle books  * coffee table books  *  The Lord of the Rings  *   thesauruses  *  novels  *  atlases  *  children’s books  *  Mark Twain  * celebrity memoirs  *  paperbacks  *   etiquette books  *  Curious George  *  biographies  *  encyclopedias  *  guidebooks  *  pop-up books  *  how-to books  *  photography books  *  manuals

 

To create the punch line I chose one angle–Curious George–and used my Punch Line Maker #3 on it, asking the question “What might a curious person do?” I answered that question using a surprisingly unwholesome association of “curious,” which is “spy on people.”

 

Finally I used my Joke Maximizer #9 (“Get specific”), devising a very specific Peeping George scenario, and arrived at the punch line: “Curious George and the hole in the wall of the girls’ locker room.”

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“New Books” is what I call a Graphic/Prop Piece, one of the seven types of Desk Pieces I analyze in my own new book, Comedy Writing for Late-Night TV.

 

A footnote: I wrote that Curious George joke for Late Show with David Letterman in May 1998 but you’d never know it. It’s an example of evergreen comedy, comedy that has a long shelf life, usually because it’s not based on something topical but on a more lasting pop culture phenomenon.

 

If you’re preparing a writing sample to submit to a comedy/talk show, include a generous portion of evergreen comedy. That way your submission won’t seem too dated if it winds up sitting on the credenza of some head writer for months before it’s read.

How to Write a Joke

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There are formulas for writing jokes. Experienced joke writers go through a systematic process to turn something like a news item into a sentence or two that will make people laugh.

You may have heard that “Writing is rewriting.” That describes only part of the process. Writing a joke is first thinking of what to write, then slapping together a rough draft, and only then rewriting to maximize the laugh.

Here’s the process I went through to write a joke for Twitter using the techniques in my book Comedy Writing for Late-Night TV.

The idea for the joke starts with this news headline:

“Giant African Snails Seized at Los Angeles Airport”

I have an emotional reaction to the headline—“That’s weird”—which alerts me that the news item might be of general interest and worth exploring as a joke Topic.

Giant African snails at LAXThe news item also feels promising because it has two handles–“snail” and “Los Angeles”—each of which has several well-known associations. That means there’s a great chance I can create a solid Punch Line from the associations. “Snail” has associations like “slimy,” “slow,” and “French people eat them.” “Los Angeles” has associations like “smog,” “traffic,” and all the individual celebrities there.

To generate a Punch Line, I focus first on the well-known “snail” association “slow” and ask myself which slow people are commonly associated with Los Angeles. I can’t think of any only-in-LA slowpokes, so I expand my list of associations to include workers in general.

DMV in Los Angeles

To spark ideas I Google “slow workers,” which reminds me of the DMV. Ah-ha! Now I have the basis of my Punch Line: I’ll link snails with DMV employees using their shared association “slow.” The result is this:

Partial Rough Draft: “Giant African snails were seized at Los Angeles Airport…workers at the DMV.”

To complete my rough draft I need an Angle that connects my Topic and Punch Line smoothly and efficiently. So I add an Angle that explains how the snails became workers at the DMV and get this:

Rough Draft: “Giant African snails were seized at Los Angeles Airport. Instead of destroying them, officials gave them jobs at the DMV.”

I use the word “officials” a lot in topical jokes. It suggests authority figures but isn’t specific enough to be distracting.

So that’s my rough draft. That was writing, wasn’t it? So much for writing being rewriting. Now comes the rewriting.

I add “live shipment” to clarify that these creatures are animate and could conceivably perform some kind of work. I add “67” because that detail from the news story subtly reinforces that this incident actually occurred. I remove “African” because it’s distractingly specific and unnecessary for the joke. I repeat “snails” in the Angle because it’s so crucial to making the Punch Line work. And this version results:

Version #2: “A live shipment of 67 giant snails was seized at Los Angeles Airport. Instead of destroying the snails, officials gave them jobs at the DMV.”

That version could still use a little tweaking. I backload the Topic, moving the most important elements closer to the Punch Line. I add “customs inspectors” to get rid of the passive voice and to clarify why the snails were seized and might be destroyed. And I get this final version:

Joe Toplyn's tweet about snails and the DMV

Abbreviating the name of the airport took the joke down to exactly 140 characters, Twitter’s limit at the time. That meant I didn’t have to waste more time, and possibly weaken the joke, trimming it to fit.

Before posting the joke I subject it to some Comedy Quality Tests. One of the tests gives me pause: Is the joke too familiar? Is making fun of slow DMV employees similar to making fun of airline food–too hacky? I decide that the joke is so effective that the laugh will blow away any possible whiff of hackiness. Copy and paste to Twitter.

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How to Create Funny Products

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Short-form comedy, the kind on comedy/talk shows, often turns up in consumer products. That’s why the same writing techniques used on late-night shows can also be used to create funny products like tee-shirts, bumper stickers, and novelty gifts.

For example, here’s how I used late-night comedy writing techniques to create two greeting cards that the staffers of Late Night with David Letterman sent out to their holiday mailing lists.

1986 holiday card from "Late Night with David Letterman" promotes General Electric products

“Late Night with David Letterman” holiday card, 1986

In both cases I started with the joke topic “Late Night holiday card.” The two handles—the distinctive elements—of that topic are “Late Night” and “holiday card.”

One association of the handle “Late Night” is “General Electric,” the show’s new corporate parent at the time; a sub-association of General Electric is “stuff for sale.”

And one association of the handle “holiday card” is “gifts”, which also has the sub-association “stuff for sale.” Linking those two sub-associations together gave birth to the official Late Night holiday card of 1986.

 

 

1989 holiday card from "Late Night with David Letterman" features Dan Rather's credit card

“Late Night” holiday card, 1989

 

 

 

 

 

For the 1989 holiday season I started with the same joke topic: “Late Night holiday card.” This time I linked the “Late Night” association “Dan Rather” (a CBS newsman and friend of the show) to the “holiday card” association “buying gifts” by using the shared sub-association “credit card.” Here’s the greeting card that resulted.

 

 

 

 

Headline of 1989 "New York Times" item reads "'Late Night' Makes Santa of Dan Rather"

“New York Times” item, December 15, 1989

 

 

That holiday card generated some nice publicity for the show, including a mention in The New York Times.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Writing techniques like these are used to craft Monologue jokes, Desk Pieces, Joke Basket Sketches, and a lot of the other comedy on comedy/talk shows. Learn these techniques by reading my book Comedy Writing for Late-Night TV.

 

 

5 Reasons To Do Field Pieces

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Why aren’t Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers doing more field pieces on their shows?

Field pieces, or “remotes,” are comedy pieces that are shot outside the studio. They’re great for comedy/talk shows. Here are 5 reasons why.

1) It’s fun to see the host out in the real world for a change. Watching the same guy behind the same desk on the same set night after night can be boring. Getting the camera out of the studio breaks that visual monotony.

Joe Toplyn, Jay Leno, and Charlie Sheen's trainer, Kim, make their way down the hill to the Hollywood Sign.

I help Charlie Sheen’s “athletic trainer,” Kim, down the hill to the Hollywood Sign.

2) Shooting only in the studio building limits your comedy options. Sure, you can produce a lot of fun comedy pieces indoors. I was once responsible for Dave Letterman and Paul Shaffer racing down a hallway inside 30 Rockefeller Plaza on dogsleds. But I also persuaded Dave to drive a rental convertible through a carwash with the top down. The world is your playground. Why stay cooped up in the clubhouse?

3) Field pieces don’t have to be expensive. To produce most field pieces all you need is a camera operator, maybe an audio technician, maybe a director, and your on-camera talent. And you’re already paying those people.

4) Field pieces don’t have to be time consuming. Jay Leno and his staffers could shoot a semi-scripted remote involving civilians, like “Jaywalking,” in an hour-and-a-half. Even a more elaborate remote is often producible in a couple of hours.

Joe Toplyn, Jay Leno, and Charlie Sheen discuss a stunt at the foot of the Hollywood Sign.

I discuss the proposed stunt with Jay and Charlie “Major League” Sheen.

For example, one time I took Jay and Charlie Sheen up to the Hollywood Sign, where Charlie threw a baseball through the D; the Olympics were underway and we made that Charlie’s event. We shot the piece in the morning, edited it that afternoon, and rolled it into the show that evening during Charlie’s interview.

5) Field pieces can be edited. If, say, the piece involves the host using unpredictable civilians for comedy, all the weak material can be cut out before the piece airs. That’s why finished field pieces tend to have a high laugh density.

Jay Leno did field pieces often. Dave Letterman, Conan O’Brien, and Jimmy Kimmel (or one of their correspondents) do field pieces. The streets of Manhattan are certainly a convenient and target-rich environment for comedy.

So here’s hoping that Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers take advantage of the pleasant weather and get out more often.

Jay Leno watches Charlie Sheen hurl a baseball through the D in the Hollywood Sign.

Jay watches Charlie hurl a baseball through the D. Success!

With their improv skills I think they’d be terrific at field pieces. Feeding the late-night beast every day is harder than it has to be if you’re only ordering off one side of the comedy menu.

Learn more about how to create successful field pieces in my book Comedy Writing for Late-Night TV.

Comedy Writing Is Not Rocket Science

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If you know the techniques, tricks, and rules, comedy writing isn’t as hard as it looks. When I was co-head writer of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno I directed a sketch featuring Jay and astronaut Story Musgrave. The sketch was a comedy tour of Space Center Houston, the official visitor center of the Lyndon B. Johnson Space Center. (In the photo, that’s Story in the NASA jumpsuit and me with the microphone boom on my face.)Joe Toplyn with Jay Leno and astronaut Story Musgrave at Space Center Houston, February 19, 1995. We finished taping around lunchtime and I found myself in the cafeteria with Story. As a kid I wanted to be an astronaut so I was thrilled when he invited me to bring my plastic tray over and join him. What a gracious, smart, impressive guy. We chatted about the taping and then he observed, “It must be really hard to come up with comedy every night, week after week.”

This STS-61 crew portrait includes astronauts (top row, l to r) Richard O. Covey, Jeffrey A. Hoffman, and Thomas D. Akers and (bottom row, l to r) Kenneth D. Bowersox, Kathryn C. Thornton, F. Story Musgrave, and Claude Nicollier.

Story Musgrave and part of the team that repaired the Hubble Space Telescope

I was almost struck speechless. Here was an astronaut, a crew member on one of the most complex missions in the history of the Space Shuttle, a veteran spacewalker who had helped repair the incredibly intricate Hubble Space Telescope so scientists could use it to unravel the secrets of the universe. Here was this guy telling me that my job seemed hard. I replied to Story that my job had to be much easier than his. I pointed out that, as with any job, you get better at comedy writing the more you do it, and I had been doing it for years. And I explained that a show like Tonight has a large staff of writers so even if a few of them are off their game on any given day there are plenty of others around who can pick up the slack. But years later I realized that part of the reason comedy writing seems so difficult to Story, and to so many other people, is that the process is so mysterious. To me, repairing the Hubble Space Telescope seems mind-bendingly difficult because I have absolutely no idea how I would go about doing it. To Story, the same task is relatively easy because he knows all the steps involved and has practiced them over and over.

Joe Toplyn and other writers of "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" in Las Vegas, November 1995.

Joe Toplyn and part of the team that wrote “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno”

The process of writing comedy was a little mysterious to me, too, until recently. I had created thousands of jokes and bits for the four late-night comedy/talk shows I’ve worked on but at the time I didn’t completely understand how I was doing it. The idea of understanding how, and of setting down the techniques, tricks, and rules for creating short-form comedy, began to appeal to me. I thought writers could use a book that would help them unravel the secrets of the comedy universe. So I wrote Comedy Writing for Late-Night TV. Story, if you ever read the book you’ll understand better than ever why I said comedy writing is way easier than your job.