Category Archives: Joke Writing Workshop

Four-time Emmy winner Joe Toplyn shows how the writing techniques in his book apply to some jokes about current events.

Joke About the Iowa State Fair

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The joke:

The Iowa State Fair is offering fairgoers free Covid-19 vaccinations. State health officials are concerned about the delta variant, the lambda variant, and because it’s a state fair, a deep-fried variant.

How I wrote it:

I thought I could get a good joke out of this news story because the topic handles–“state fair” and “Covid-19 vaccinations”–seemed to have plenty of useful associations.

The original headline that I saw referred to “Midwest state fairs.” But given current events, I thought my audience might briefly think that that headline was about affairs of state in the Middle East. So, for clarity, I rewrote the topic to refer to just one specific state fair.

Then I used my Punch Line Maker #1: Link two associations of the topic. The topic handle “state fair” is associated with, among other things, unusual deep-fried foods like deep-fried Oreos and deep-fried pickles.

The other topic handle, “Covid-19 vaccinations,” is associated with the Covid-19 variants.

To link those associations, I created a punch line with the laugh trigger “deep-fried variant.”

Because the Covid-19 delta and lambda variants are pretty well-known, I decided to make my punch line a list, exploiting my Joke Maximizer #10: Use the Rule of Three.

But the list made my angle and punch line fairly long, putting a lot of distance between “state fair” in the topic and “deep-fried variant” at the end of the joke.

To make sure the audience wouldn’t forget the words “state fair” by the time they heard the laugh trigger that depended on them, I inserted “because it’s a state fair” right before the laugh trigger. And in what might have been an overabundance of caution, I also used “fairgoers” instead of a word like “visitors” in the topic, and added the word “state” to “health officials.” I take my Joke Maximizer #4 seriously; it advises, “Make everything clear.”

Joke About Vegan Pepperoni Pizza

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The joke:

Pizza Hut just added this to its menu: pizza with vegan pepperoni that’s made from rice and peas. It’s for pizza lovers whose favorite toppings are rice and peas.

How I wrote it:

This news item caught my eye because it seemed a little odd: Pepperoni is such a small part of a pepperoni pizza–just a topping. So how many new customers are likely to be attracted to Pizza Hut by little slices of vegan pepperoni?

Plus many versions of the news item referred to “plant-based pepperoni from Beyond Meat.” That wording promised numerous associations that might lead to a punch line.

But I was having a hard time coming up with one I was happy with. For example, it seemed unfair to link “Beyond Meat” to a judgmental association of “plant-based pepperoni” to get a laugh trigger like “Beyond Bland.”

So I read deeper into one news article to find out exactly what plants that pepperoni is made of. The answer, “rice and peas,” struck me as amusingly unlikely toppings for a pizza.

So I incorporated the “rice and peas” association in my Punch Line Maker #3. Specifically, I created a punch line that answers the question about the topic that I originally asked myself: Who would buy that pizza?

Then I went back and added “rice and peas” to my topic sentence, so I could use that phrase in my punch line.

Finally I wrote an angle referring to “pizza lovers” to heighten the surprise of the punch line, which describes a combination of toppings that few people are likely to love.

Joke About Wearing Masks in NY

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The joke:

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio strongly urged vaccinated people to wear masks indoors. He said masks would help protect New Yorkers from Covid-19, the Delta variant, and Governor Cuomo’s lips.

How I wrote it:

I wanted to write a joke based on the Cuomo sexual harassment accusations because jokes about politicians behaving badly almost always have a receptive audience. Plus even prominent Democrats seemed to believe the accusations. That meant that a joke which assumed the truth of the accusations was unlikely to split my audience.

I could have made the news item about Cuomo’s alleged sexual harassment the topic sentence of my joke. By doing that, I’d be stating the news item explicitly before proceeding with the rest of the joke.

But I assumed that enough people were already familiar with the news item that I could use it as the punch line instead. I thought ending the joke with an out-of-the-blue reference to Cuomo’s alleged creepy behavior would be more surprising, and therefore funnier.

Once I decided to create a punch line about Cuomo’s alleged behavior–the suggestive comments, the touching, the kissing–I focused on the kissing. My mind associated that mental image with another New York, face-related issue in the news: Mayor de Blasio’s comments about mask wearing.

So from the idea of a Cuomo punch line I backed into the topic sentence about de Blasio. That is, I reversed my Punch Line Maker #2: Link the topic to pop culture. Governor Cuomo’s kissing is associated with “protect your mouth,” which is associated with the topic handle “wear masks.”

I considered making the laugh trigger “Governor Cuomo’s tongue.” But I decided that that wording was more likely to make my audience gag than laugh.

Finally, I connected my topic and punch line with an angle that relies on my Joke Maximizer #10: Use the Rule of Three.

Joke About American Airlines

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The joke:

Because of fuel delivery delays, today American Airlines urged its pilots to do everything possible to conserve fuel. So if an American Airlines pilot tells you he just flew in from Phoenix and boy, are his arms tired, it’s not a joke.

How I wrote it:

This news item caught my attention because the idea of airline pilots conserving fuel seemed odd. Plus there seemed to be a lot of silly ways that pilots might do that.

While brainstorming those silly ways, I turned to my Punch Line Maker #5: Visualize the topic. I pictured an airliner cruising through the sky and asked myself how the pilot might conserve fuel in that situation.

Birds fly without jet fuel, so I warped my mental picture to show the pilot flapping his arms like a bird out the cockpit window. And I had the basic idea for my punch line.

But I felt I could do better than an on-the-nose punch line like “What’s a pilot supposed to do–flap his arms out the cockpit window?”

So I associated the pilot flapping his arms with the old “Boy, are my arms tired” flying joke; I thought I could use that old joke as part of my joke.

But I decided not to use the old joke as a punch line something like “So now you’ll hear American Airlines pilots saying they just flew in from Phoenix and boy, are their arms tired.” That’s because then my joke would be relying on an old, and therefore unsurprising, joke to get a laugh.

Instead, I worded my joke so that its punch line would make the surprising revelation that the pilot really did flap his arms the way the air traveler in the old joke supposedly did.

And why did I choose Phoenix for the city? Because my Joke Maximizer #7 is “Use stop consonants, alliteration, and assonance,” and “Phoenix” has the stop consonant K and alliteration with “flew.”

Joke About Jeff Bezos’s Space Flight

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The joke:

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos arrived safely back on earth in his space capsule this morning. And an email from Amazon said the other three passengers will arrive later in a separate shipment at no additional charge.

How I wrote it:

I chose this news item to base a joke on because it was a big story. It also seemed to offer enough associations for me to use in my Punch Line Maker #1: Link two associations of the topic.

A typical version of the news item began like this: “Riding his own rocket, Amazon and Blue Origin founder Jeff Bezos streaked into space Tuesday on a thrilling 10-minute up-and-down flight.” That version has a lot of possible topic handles, but I had to choose only two of them to use in creating a punch line.

“Amazon” seemed like a promising choice for a handle because it has a lot of potentially useful associations. To help decide on a second handle, I thought of what associations of Amazon I had already used to create other jokes; I didn’t want to repeat myself.

I realized I hadn’t yet written a joke referring to how Amazon sometimes makes partial shipments. Delivering items in a shipment seemed similar to delivering passengers in a space capsule, so I decided my punch line would blend those two concepts.

I relied on my memory of past Amazon emails to come up with the detailed wording “will arrive later in a separate shipment at no additional charge.” I needed that detailed wording to make it completely clear that the punch line refers to an Amazon partial shipment.

Finally, I edited the topic to focus on only those elements of the news story that I needed for my punch line: “Amazon,” plus the concept of a container arriving that contains only one item.

Joke About the Air and Space Museum

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The joke:

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos is donating $200 million to the Smithsonian for its Air and Space Museum. He says he can relate to the Air and Space Museum because those huge boxes that Amazon uses to mail tiny items are mostly full of air and space.

How I wrote it:

I thought I could turn this news item into a joke using my Punch Line Maker #1: Link two associations of the topic. That’s because the news item offered two topic handles, “Amazon” and “Air and Space Museum,” each of which seemed to have enough associations that I could link.

The handle “Air and Space Museum” has the association “air and space.” As I brainstormed possible connections between “air and space” and “Amazon,” the mental image of a box shipped by Amazon came to mind. I visualized opening the box and seeing one small item surrounded by lots of those air-filled packing pillows. And I had the idea for my punch line.

But before I went ahead with that punch line, I did some research online and reassured myself that I’m not the only person who thinks that Amazon often ships boxes mostly filled with air.

My Joke Maximizer #4 is “Make everything clear,” and I used it in two ways. The first way involved my punch line, which starts at “those huge boxes.” It’s fairly long. So I repeated in my angle the topic handle “Amazon” and the name of the museum. That way my audience would have those important words in their head when they heard the punch line that relies on their remembering them.

Another way I made the joke clearer was to write an angle that gives Bezos a logical reason for his donation: he relates to the museum. An angle that doesn’t spell out a specific reason, like the angle “He says he made the donation because,” wouldn’t have connected the topic as smoothly to the punch line about the air-filled boxes.

Joke About the Tokyo Olympics

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The joke:

Today the Prime Minister of Japan confirmed that spectators will be banned from all Olympics events in Tokyo. He also introduced a new Olympics mascot: Hello Kitty’s antisocial cousin, Goodbye Kitty.

How I wrote it:

This news item got my attention because it was a pretty big story. It also seemed to offer topic handles that had enough associations to use in my Punch Line Maker #1: Link two associations of the topic.

One topic handle is “Tokyo Olympics,” which has the association “mascot.” Another topic handle is “spectators banned,” which has the association “unwelcome.”

So I decided to devise a punch line by linking those associations to create an unwelcoming mascot for the Tokyo Olympics.

Tokyo, for me, has the association “Hello Kitty.” An unwelcoming version of Hello Kitty would be a mascot named Goodbye Kitty. And I had the basis of my punch line.

But I wanted to use my Joke Maximizer #4: “Make everything clear.” Specifically, I didn’t want a wording for the joke something like, “He also introduced a new Olympics mascot, Goodbye Kitty.” That’s because I thought that wording would make it too hard for the audience to make the mental connections from the punch line back to the topic handles. And if the audience doesn’t make those connections, they’ll be puzzled and they won’t laugh.

So I added a mention of Hello Kitty to the punch line, to make the connection between Goodbye Kitty and Tokyo clearer.

I also added “antisocial,” to clarify the connection between Goodbye Kitty and “spectators banned.”

And I made sure to use a version of the topic that includes the word “banned.” Other versions of the news headline that I read, like “Tokyo Olympic venues won’t have spectators,” didn’t convey the antisocial aspect that I needed to clarify my “Goodbye Kitty” punch line.

Joke About the Yale School of Drama

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The joke:

After receiving a $150 million donation, the Yale School of Drama is eliminating tuition for all students. The students jumped for joy, then asked if that was too much and tried another reaction where they just clapped.

How I wrote it:

When I read this news item, the topic handle “the Yale School of Drama” immediately made me think I could use my Punch Line Maker #3: Ask a question about the topic.

The question I asked myself was, “How did the students react to the news?” The reason that question occurred to me was probably because “the Yale School of Drama” is strongly associated with “acting.” So I thought I might base a punch line on the idea that the drama students expressed their joy in a very actorish way.

I tried a few versions of the punch line before I settled on the exact wording. One version was something like “The students expressed their joy by remembering a time when they were really happy.”

But I wasn’t sure that my audience would associate the wording of that punch line with the acting technique known as Method Acting. I wasn’t even sure what Method Acting is.

So instead I thought more about what actors do when they perform and came up with the version of the angle and punch line you see here.

Then I edited my topic. To make it as short as possible–per my Joke Maximizer #1–I shortened the “current and future students” referred to in the original news story down to just “students.”

I also omitted the name of the generous donor of the $150 million–David Geffen–because the joke didn’t need that information.

Finally I used my Joke Maximizer #3–Backload the topic–by moving to the beginning of the joke the least important information remaining in the topic.

Joke About Gunplay at Burger King

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The joke:

In Tennessee, two people were arrested for reportedly shooting up a Burger King after a dispute over a chicken sandwich. Apparently for them, “Have It Your Way” included wearing handcuffs.

How I wrote it:

This news item caught my attention because the crime it describes is so dumb. Plus the news item includes several topic handles that I thought I could turn into a punch line by using my Punch Line Maker #1: Link two associations of the topic.

But which two topic handles should I focus on? Put another way, which two words or phrases in the topic are most responsible for attracting my, and my audience’s, attention? The topic handles need to grab the audience’s attention because the audience has to remember them in order to understand the punch line.

One possible pair of topic handles is “shooting” and “chicken sandwich.” The idea that somebody sprayed bullets because of a mere chicken sandwich does grab one’s attention.

But years ago I had used similar handles taken from a news story about another fast food shooting to write the punch line “bun control,” which merges “bun” and “gun control.” And I didn’t want to repeat myself here.

So instead I considered the pair of topic handles “Burger King” and “arrested.” Appearing together in a news story, those words also grab one’s attention: who wouldn’t be interested in an arrest in a familiar restaurant like Burger King?

One association of “Burger King” is its longstanding slogan, “Have It Your Way.” And one association of “arrested” is “wearing handcuffs.” The punch line that I wrote connects those two associations.

As that process shows, sometimes a topic offers more than two possible candidates for topic handles. To pick which ones to use, just try them in the Punch Line Makers one or two at a time and see which ones lead to the funniest joke.

Joke About a Naked Skydiver

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The joke:

A Nebraska man set a new world record by making 60 skydiving jumps in 24 hours while naked. He also set a new world record for most seagulls lodged in a human rectum.

How I wrote it:

This news item attracted my interest because it described such a weird achievement. It also summoned up a vivid image in my mind, pointing me toward my Punch Line Maker #5: Visualize the topic.

Having formed a mental image of the topic–a naked guy repeatedly plummeting through the sky–I took that mental image to an extreme: I envisioned the guy hitting birds on his way down.

Then I made the image even more extreme by visualizing the birds slamming into his naked butt. And that warped image became the basis of my punch line.

To make my punch line as funny as possible, I used my Joke Maximizer #9: Get specific. Instead of “birds” I wrote the more-specific “seagulls.” And I changed “butt” to the more-specific “human rectum.”

“Rectum” also takes advantage of my Joke Maximizer #7: Use stop consonants, alliteration, and assonance. The word has the stop consonant sounds K and T.

Adding the word “human” also makes it immediately clear that the punch line refers to the naked guy’s own rectum, as opposed to…oh, I don’t know…a seagull’s rectum.

Finally I added an angle that uses my Joke Maximizer #6: Make the punch line parallel. “He also set a new world record for” copies as closely as possible the structure of the phrase “A Nebraska man set a new world record by” which is at the beginning of the topic.